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When I got home,Lucy was in her room, loud, angry music seeping around the closed door. I couldn’t deal with her oscillating emotions right now.
I dragged myself to the shower and stood underneath the spray for far too long. Hot tendrils of steam rose around me, and I focused on the feeling of the water running over my body to drown out my worries. What could I do about the drug dealer?If you can’t tell the cops, tell Renato De Sanctis.The thought alone was bananas enough to make me worried for my sanity.
I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower onto the faded bathmat.
My reflection in the mirror was exhausted. Dark circles ringed my eyes, the whites bloodshot. I looked scared. There was a haunted quality to my expression that I couldn’t shake.
Darkness and danger. Trouble with the cops and criminals. This was the life I’d strived to avoid for me and Lucy. This had been our legacy, from our parents’ deaths to growing up in a group home, poor and unwanted. I’d fought tooth and nail to set us on a different path, to walk in a different world, and now, we were right back where we’d started.
Maybe you couldn’t fight destiny after all. Maybe you could only ever put it off for a while. Fate would always find you and claim you.
Renato’s darkly handsome face flashed through my mind.
“We have a deal. You keep your sister quiet, and in return… You’ll do whatever you have to.”
The reminder of his words sent a full-body shiver through me. I couldn’t believe I’d knelt there, before the most dangerous man I’d ever met, and vowed to worship him like he was my new god, to take his orders like they were heaven-sent. I had no idea what he would ask of me, but I’d already agreed, anyway. It felt like I had the sword of Damocles hanging over my head.
I brushed my teeth while turning my mind to work, which rapidly approached. I wasn’t excited for this shift. I’d been dreading the possibility of being scheduled to work the charity event all month, and yet, given what else I was dealing with, it had lost its ability to scare me. Maybe there was a silver lining to learning new levels of fear. It certainly put the small daily struggles I dealt with into perspective.
I’d just left the bathroom when I caught the soft murmur of voices in the kitchen. Who the hell was that? Lucy and I didn’t get visitors. Our apartment couldn’t really accommodate more than two people at a time.
I headed down the hall toward the kitchen. A familiar tone struck me cold with terror. I turned the corner and stepped into the kitchen, hoping against all odds that I wouldn’t see who I feared I would.
Detective Vane sat at the table across from Lucy, and Detective Whitely stood at the sink, filling the kettle.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded, panic making me abrasive.
Detective Vane raised an eyebrow at me, her overly plucked arch mocking my undressed state. “Miss Burke, good evening to you, too. We won’t get in the way of you getting ready for work. Please, go and get ready. Lucy was just having a little chat with us.” She turned back to my sister, who perched in a miserable ball on the edge of her chair.
Her long hair was strewn around her shoulders, her eyes red. She glanced at me, her expression torn. She wanted to talk to the cops. She wanted justice for Miguel, but she didn’t want to go against me. While we might fight sometimes, we were all each other had.
“And you think it’s appropriate to just barge into someone’s private residence?” I attempted to gather my wits.
“Lucy let us in,” Whitely pointed out, flipping on the kettle and settling against the counter, crossing his arms.
“And it’s also appropriate to sit and speak alone to a teenager without her guardian’s supervision?” I began but didn’t get far before Detective Vane interrupted.
“Lucy is over eighteen, I believe? If she wants us to stay, I think we need to honor that.”
I blew out a frustrated breath.Fuck. I turned to my sister. “Tell them to leave, Lucy. We don’t need anything from them, and the whole thing is a misunderstanding.”
She stared at me, biting her lip. I could see her confession building. I couldn’t let her say it.
“Lucy Burke! Stop wasting police time and tell them to go.Deirfiúr,”I muttered the magic word.
What the detectives thought about the Irish Gaelic word, I had no idea. I only had eyes for Lucy’s reaction. The word had become a mantra between us. Before Da had died, he’d peppered Irish Gaelic words into his speech, anddeirfiúrbecame our code word for when she needed to listen to me, no matter what.Deirfiúr. Sister.
A tear fell from Lucy’s eye as she looked at the detectives. “My sister’s right. I’m going to bed, and she’s going out. It’s not a good time for tea. Sorry for the fuss. I was confused, tired, I don’t even know what I’m saying…” She stood and shrugged her thin shoulders. “I just don’t know.”
Her pajamas had cats on them, and at that second, she looked so young and helpless, my heart broke. Both our lives as we knew them had ended in the last forty-eight hours.
“You heard her. Please go and don’t bother either of us again,” I said briskly and opened the front door expectantly.
The detectives exchanged long looks. They had their own language, too, it seemed. Annoyingly slowly, they gathered their things.
“If you’re sure, Lucy. But don’t forget to call if you change your mind,” Detective Vane said, eyeing me as she passed by. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing you soon, Miss Burke.”
“I’m not.” I closed the door behind them and locked it, then peered through the peephole at the detectives standing in the hall outside. They lingered, speaking so quietly between them I couldn’t hear their words. Finally, they moved away, and I sank against the door, my heart pounding.
