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But on top of that, Blake is hurt and she knows that Amory is hurt, too. But she didn’t do what Amory thinks—she never cheated on anyone. She learned her lesson on that years ago, and she would never do that to Amory, especially not again. She thinks that maybe this is karma for what she did with Natalie all of those years ago, that despite how happy Amory has made her, she doesn’t deserve happiness with her, after all.
Blake goes through the motions at work, doing her best to help her patients, but her heart’s not in it. Her heart is stuck on Amory. She wonders what she can do to make her listen, to get her to understand that she’s not a cheater anymore.
She doesn’t know. She just doesn’t know and that frustrates her. Any time she’s tried to talk to Amory, it’s gotten shut down. But maybe she hasn’t been trying hard enough. It’s hard, being accused of something you didn’t do, and she doesn’t know how to feel about it. All she really feels about it is frustration and guilt. This would have never happened had she not cheated with Natalie all of those years ago. Amory’s trust wouldn’t have been broken so badly that she sees things that aren’t there.
Blake walks into another patient’s area and freezes when she sees Dr. Paver behind the curtain, talking to the patient. She checks her chart, yeah, this was definitely her patient.
“Uh,” Blake says, confused, “what’s going on?”
Amory gives her a dirty look. “I’m talking to my patient.”
“But this was my patient,” Blake says.
“What?” Amory asks, looking to where Blake is holding her chart. Amory walks over and grabs the chart, glancing at it before she looks at Blake in confusion. It’s refreshing to Blake, to see Amory look at her without hatred in her lovely aqua eyes. It doesn’t last long, however, and Amory’s gaze hardens when she hands the chart back to Blake.
Amory shrugs and walks back to the patient. “Take it up with the nurses,” she says, and Blake walks out from behind the curtain and does just that. She can’t help but think that this is the most Amory has spoken to her in days and her heart aches.
Yeah, apparently it was just a mix up with the charts. Blake is given a new patient and walks to a new patient area, where Amory isn’t around. She’s kind of upset about it, if she’s honest. She wants nothing more than to be around Amory and to see her at work.
Blake wonders what kind of a doctor she is now. She hasn’t known how she works since they were in residency together, and Blake wonders if Amory is still the hungry woman she once knew, who was always clamoring to find the next strange and rare disease in her patients. She hopes not. She also doubts it. She knows that Amory works in family medicine, a much more practical part of their field.
Blake thinks back to their past and how Amory used to be. It’s just not practical to practice medicine like that, and it never really worked in Amory’s favor anyway. She used to get into so much trouble for ordering unnecessary tests when she was a resident, it’s almost kind of funny. But she also used to have the best bedside manner, able to calm even the most terrified of patients, and Blake hopes she is still like that. From what little Blake saw of her working, that seems to be the case.
Blake always used to admire the way Amory had with patients, even if back then she would have never admitted it. She would sometimes watch Amory, observe her and try to copy her interactions with patients. It was never as successful, but it was definitely better than Blake’s sometimes brash bedside manner. Over the years, however, Blake has definitely gotten better with patients, and she wonders how much of that is due to her observations of Amory.
Blake continues through work and when it’s time to leave, she gets done before Amory. Just like every day since their argument, Blake waits for Amory by the door, and Amory ignores her and walks right past her, determined and defiant. Blake sighs to herself, but she’s not surprised. She just wants things to go back to the way they were, even if it doesn’t seem like that will ever be the case.
Blake follows behind Amory as she walks to the cabin, not even looking behind her to see Blake. When she gets to the cabin, she opens the door and enters through, but lets the door fall to slam in Blake’s face. Blake sighs to herself in front of the closed door. It’s been like this every day for the last several days. Amory hates her and she hates herself for it. She should have ended things with Jenna properly before starting anything with Amory.
Blake walks into the cabin and sees that Amory is making supper. That’s another change. The two don’t cook together anymore. Amory keeps cooking by herself and the one time Blake tried to join and help her, Amory set down the frying pan and left the cabin in a huff.
Blake doesn’t try to help anymore; she just sits on the bed and reads a book while Amory cooks. At least it’s a good book.
Amory cooks by herself and Blake’s stomach growls. When she’s done, there’s fried rice on the table, slightly burnt, but it still tastes good. She doesn’t tell Blake when it’s ready, just starts eating, but she doesn’t complain or say anything when Blake grabs a plate and sits down at the table. Amory just looks down at her food the entire time the two of them eat.
Blake frowns to herself and does the same thing, trying to focus on her food while the two of them eat. What she really wants to do is have a conversation with Amory, to make up and make everything better. She really needs to get over her nerves, her fear of making everything worse. After all, with how things are right now, Blake doesn’t think things can get worse. There is still that little voice in her head that tells her otherwise, that comes up with all kinds of scenarios of Amory getting so angry that she does something brash like hit her.
Blake doesn’t think she would ever do something like that, but she can’t help the fear that has frozen her voice and pokes stabbing pains into her heart. She’s also terrified of hurting Amory more, of not being believed, or of saying the wrong thing and making Amory think that she’s done something worse than the cheating she was accused of.
When they’re done eating, Amory goes back to her blanket pile and opens her laptop, hiding under the blankets with it. She acts like she’s depressed, hiding out under the covers and not doing anything besides read and play on her laptop whenever she’s not at work or cooking. Blake misses their games, and as selfish as it is, she hopes Amory does, too. Though she feels bad, seeing Amory so dejected and by herself.
Blake is incredibly lonely, and she wonders if Amory feels the same way. She goes back to the bed and sits down, not sure what to do. She supposes she should read again.
She tries to read, but is mostly unsuccessful, only getting a few pages done in over an hour. She can’t stop thinking about Amory. The other woman invades her every thought and it’s unbearable, especially when she can’t do anything about it. She wants to kiss her again, to hold her, to at the very least talk to her.
She misses their games and their teasing and waking up next to her. She can hear Amory squirming around on the floor, trying to find a comfortable position.
“You know,” Blake says, trying an old trick, “this bed sure is really comfortable.”
“Go to hell,” Amory says, her voice muffled from under the blankets.
Blake coughs and doesn’t stop. It’s a nasty cough, and it doesn’t stop for a couple of seconds. When she’s done, she sighs. She really hopes she’s not getting sick.
“No,” Blake says, suddenly angry at Amory and all of her nonsense. “I’ve had to listen to you be angry at me, accuse me of being a cheater, which isn’t true, and now you’re going to listen to me and let me explain myself.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Amory says.
“I don’t care,” Blake almost yells, upset and pissed off. “You’ve been doing all the talking and assuming, and you’re fucking wrong.”
