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“Kaitlyn, I thought you had a plan?” he rasped. My plan. My stupid, silly plan.
“Maybe plans should change,” I whispered. “You’re here and with—" I pointed at the redhead who was watching us from the football field. “You never mentioned her.”
“Britt? Why would I?”
“Because we’re best friends?” I reminded him, but then it hit me.
Maybe I’d made our friendship something bigger in my head than it actually was.
Maybe she wasn’t the only woman?
Maybe, as an assistant coach and future head coach, according to ESPN, he was a player on the college campus?
“Babe, I think you’re confused.”I flinched, and he frowned. “Not about us being best friends,” he growled. He stepped forward and surprised me by holding my hand. “Kaity, you’re my favorite. You know that!” My eyes dropped to his hand, because when I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t make out what was there, and I hated it. His hand always surprised me, how big it was, especially compared to mine. His thumb stroked my knuckles.
“Do I, though?” I asked. The filter I’d held in place started to slip. “Look, I—" I glanced around. There were people around, but it didn’t seem like anyone was paying us any attention. “Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else?” I found myself suggesting. I watched as his squared scruffy jaw clenched.
“Fine,” he clipped, and I could tell by his tone he wasn’t happy with me.
Red was usually even tempered and calm, but I could see his mood had shifted to one I wasn’t used to. One I had only seen flashes of in small moments throughout our friendship. His big hand pulled me and led the way as Red’s big feet stomped through the hall beneath the stadium.
I’d only been to one of his games, and that was out in the nose bleeds because it was all I could afford. I never asked him for tickets, and he’d never offered. But I’d been dying to see him out on the field, coaching and doing his thing. Watching Red Bridges had been one of my favorite past times.
First in college before his accident and then at the high school when he started to coach. It’d been magnificent. The energy. The crowd. But I’d stuck to watching his games from the comfort of my living room because I could see him better from there.
He led us through an empty locker room and right into an office I assumed was his. He shoved me in before the door slammed behind him. I opened my mouth to say something but stayed quiet because of the look he shot me. I watched as he moved around the office space and shut blind after blind, cocooning us in darkness.
But that wasn’t enough.
Silence filled the space, and he moved right toward me. He stood right in front of me, and when one of his muscular arms rose and leaned against the wall behind me, my heart that had already been beating hard started to kick in so fast I was afraid it was gong to explode. How many times had I daydreamed of him doing this? Caging me against a wall, pressing his large strong body against mine. My breath shuddered, and his bright blue eyes almost seemed to glow.
“What’s going on, bug?” I shivered at the depth of his voice.
“What?”
“You wanted to talk in private. You got it, babe. What’s going on?”
“Right,” I whispered, trying to control the erratic beat of my heart that seemed to climb with anxiety that was rampantly flowing in my veins. “I love you.” I surprised myself with how calm I sounded.
“Kaitlyn—"
“I’ve loved you since college,” I whispered, ignoring the way he tried to cut in. I knew if I let him, I wouldn’t say what I’d come here to say, and it would be a vicious endless cycle.
“I’ve loved you for so long, and I…” I licked my lips in an attempt to give myself a moment to get my thoughts together, when a noise vibrated through Red’s chest. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you or not, and suddenly…” My eyes dropped to hishands because the truth was suddenly very embarrassing, and I felt extremely vulnerable.
“Suddenly what, bug?”
“Suddenly, I’m thirty-eight, and because life’s a bitch, especially to women, I have to make a decision. I’ve never been able to shake off what I feel for you, and it's fine! It’s one sided and stupid to just keep feeling what I do, but I wouldn’t want to do that to someone else. I didn’t want to settle, and my heart’s more stubborn than I am, it seems.” I shrugged, meeting his blue gaze head-on. Despite the darkness that cloaked us, a little light filtered through the slats of the blinds.
“So, okay, I don’t get the guy. I know that, and I’m okay with that. Not everyone does.” I swallowed the emotions that tried to take over. “But I can have a baby.”
“Bug—"
“I’m going to do that. I’m choosing the sperm from this fertility clinic I’ve been going to, and I’m going to be artificially inseminated. And hope for twins because it’s crazy expensive, and even though I think kids should have siblings, I’m going to give this thing one shot because that’s all I can afford.”
“Kait—"
“And I came to say goodbye,” I blurted out. The last part of my speech was the toughest.
