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He glances back at me, his voice deep, smooth, and cryptic. “No.”
“I told you I’m the one who had it made.”
“I know. Mum mentioned that a couple of years ago. It’s mine now and I don’t give away what’s mine.”
“I thought I was yours, too, at some point, but you had no issue giving up on me.”
I hate the tremor in my voice, in my limbs, in my insides.
But what I hate the most is the possibility that I can never be with him again.
I don’t need doctors to tell me that I would’ve never fixed myself if it weren’t for him. He gave me purpose, something to fight for. He also fought for me so many times during the years of our marriage.
After I calmed down and recalled everything he did for me, and after Sam told me all the sleepless nights he spent, all the sacrifices he made for my comfort, I knew that I had to fight too.
It’s not fair that I ended things before I cleared my head.
I don’t want to leave him. Not when I need him more than air. I need the unconditional comfort and safety he offers. Even if he doesn’t love me, he cares. And that’s enough.
For now.
He faces me fully, a muscle working in his jaw. “I never gave up on you. I only presented you with what you asked for.”
“Divorce?”
“That’s what you wanted, Ava.” His voice darkens. “May I remind you that you held your life in the balance for it?”
“That was before I learned about what you did for me, how you took care of me all this time, and how you visited me every day. You did everything to make me happy and askedfor nothing in return, and I know how uncharacteristic that is for you. How I’m an exception. I don’t take your sacrifices for granted.”
“And that changes something?”
“It changeseverything.”
He strides toward me, his emotions spilling from him with every step. It’s a vortex of passion, adoration, desire, but mostly hope.
As crushing and grandiose as mine.
“Don’t fuck with me.” He stops in front of me, his chest rising and falling with his harsh breaths. “If this is your method of revenge?—”
“Tell me you’ll love me. You’ll try to, no matter how long it takes. Tell me your care, adoration, and protection will develop into love someday and I’ll forget about the divorce.”
He shakes his head.
My heart falls.
“There’s no need to wait.” He strokes my cheek and my skin ignites at the contact. “You have already captured my heart, body, and soul, Ava. I have no clue when it started, but at some point, my possessiveness and obsessiveness with you turned into this inferno of emotions where I was prepared to lose you if it meant protecting you. That’s when I realized I was in love with everything about you, whether it’s your obsession with pink, candy floss, or cheesy books and films. The lack of you has stripped my world of color and made me realize you’re my sole light in the darkness. It’s why I killed for you and would do it again in a heartbeat. I’d kill everyone if it meant I’d get to keep you. Perhaps that’s not the healthiest form of love, but it’s all I have. The heart you slowly awakened is entirely yours to do with as you please.”
I stare at him through blurry vision as tears well up in my eyes.
Eli loves me.
All this time, he’s beenin lovewith me. The truth is, I’ve suspected it since I learned about all he did for me, but I didn’t dare hope. Now, however, all my little girl dreams are bursting at the seams.
“What if I break your heart?” I whisper in a brittle voice.
“You already did, five months ago when you said you’d rather die than be with me, but by all means. If you wish to do it again for when I broke yours all those years ago, this is the time to go for it.”
I shake my head frantically. “I’m done carrying pain and heartbreak. I want a clean slate and a new start. Besides, I never meant to hurt you or cause you pain. Yes, I did think about revenge at one point, but I never got to the point of executing it. I couldn’t bear it. The reason I came undone that day was because I didn’t know about your sacrifices for me and was terrified that all your actions in recent months were a lie or that you were pitying me.”
