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“I’m so sorry, Val,” I say, burying myself in his hard chest.
“Thanks. It means a lot you coming here today.” He grins before he looks over at where Alessandro is standing, greeting mourners, and an icy glare is directed at us.
“I should go, he doesn’t want me here,” I say.
Val looks down at me. “He doesn’t know what he wants. Things are rough for him now. On the one hand, he’s devastated, and on the other …” He doesn’t need to finish that sentence, and certainly not here.
“And he doesn’t need his fake ex-wife coming in and making things difficult,” I murmur.
“You and I both know there was nothing fake about the two of you,” Val says sadly.
“Doesn’t seem what we had was enough either.”
Val sighs. “That’s Alessandro. He’s shut everyone out. Even Nico.” I look over, and Alessandro is still glaring at us in between greetings. I offer him a small smile, and I see the moment he shuts down. His jaw tenses, those slate-green eyes harden, and his shoulders stiffen. I hiccup on a sob that wants to escape, and Val sees it. “Please don’t give up on him. He needs you.” I nod, unable to hold in my emotions any longer, and move away from him.
I start to break down at how useless I feel.
“Nat, I’m sorry,” Allegra says, pulling me into a hug.
“I love him so much, and it’s killing me that I can’t be there for him.”
“Come, let’s sit over here and wait till most of the well-wishers have gone, and then you can talk to him.”
“Natalia,” Nico says, calling out my name. I look up and concern hits me when I see his face. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but Alessandro has asked that you leave, it’s a family event.” My hand clutches my chest as if he’s stabbed me with his words.
“Is he fucking serious?” Allegra hisses, and I can see on Nico’s face that he didn’t want to have to tell me, but he did, for Alessandro.
“I’ll go, tell him I’m sorry,” I say to Nico sadly. He gives me a gentle nod, and I pull Allegra away.
“That’s not right. How could he do that to you?”
“Allegra, it’s fine, leave it. He’s in pain,” I tell my overprotective sister.
“Just because he’s in pain doesn’t mean he can hurt you.”
I nod and walk away from the church and away from my husband.
37
ALESSANDRO
One month later
“There you are. You’re a hard man to find, Conti,” Natalia says, stepping onto my boat from the dock and looking like a Greek goddess come to life. Dressed in a white summer dress, gold sandals, and gold jewelry, she’s close to one. “Greece looks good on you,” Natalia says, eyeing me up. I’ve let my beard and hair grow, I’m dressed in a white tank top and shorts, and my skin is sunkissed from weeks spent in the sun.
“It’s the ocean air,” I tell her as she stops in front of me. I can’t believe she is here, standing right in front of me. Night after night, bobbing around the Mediterranean by myself, I’ve dreamed of this moment. Wished on it every night as the first star came out.
“Cute. I got your letter,” she says, waving it in my face.
“Thanks for letting me know,” I say.
“You are the most infuriating man I know,” she shouts at me as she waves the letter in the air. “Why the hell do you think I am here?”
I can only hope it’s good news, but she could equally have tracked me down to personally drown me at sea. When I don’t answer she huffs. “Shall I read it to you?”
“I wrote it. I know what’s in it,” I say. Stop being a dick to her. I can’t help it. I’m nervous. I don’t want to get my hopes up. You don’t deserve to have your hopes up after what you did to her. I know. You don’t think I haven’t beat myself up over it all for the past month? That I haven’t cursed my father for messing me up, even in death. I had to tell my brother that the man who made his life hell wasn’t really his father. I had to deal with my father’s will, which left everything to me while excluding my mother and Rome. Even in death, he was still an asshole.
I made the decision to sell the family business, I wanted nothing to do with my father’s legacy anymore. He doesn’t deserve his dreams to continue when he shattered so many in his life. Natalia deserved a man that had his shit together not some asshole with daddy issues. Therapy has helped and will continue to help unfuck the shit my father did to me. I still have a long way to go regarding all that, but at least it’s a start. My therapist was the one who suggested I send Natalia the letter as it felt easier to express my thoughts that way. Plus, I wasn’t prepared to have the door shut in my face. Cowardly? Yeah, I’m man enough to cop to that.
