AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m in love. Like fully, completely in love, which is a huge problem. Enormous. And even worse, I’m relatively certain it’s unsolvable. When we woke up the next morning, the power was on so we were able to make a big breakfast together while we waited for the snowplow. Eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Followed by some plowing of our own until the road was cleared—wink, wink. We held hands almost the entire way home. That’s five hours of hand-holding. By the time we got back, it was too late to bother going into the office, so Hudson dropped me off at my place, where I quickly showered and packed an overnight bag, grabbed a loaf of peasant bread to-go, then explained to my parents that I’m thirty-five, a responsible not-so-young woman, and that I was going to spend the night at Gwen’s because Ty is out of town. So not only am I in love with a man who’s definitely going to break my heart, I’m also turning into something I hate—a liar. But honestly? Totally worth it because the D is fire.
Anyway, it’s now Saturday morning, and I’m laying here in Hudson’s bed, watching him sleep. I know it’s creepy, but honestly, I can’t stop. I want to drink in every last drop of whatever time we have together. And there’s a tiny part of me that believes this might, just maybe, be forever. I’m trying my level best to convince her that this isn’t a permanent situation—because it’s not. It’s just a fling. But she’s not buying it.
Every cell of my body, every bit of grey matter in my brain, all of it, belongs to him. This is so different than with Lando. First of all, what I thought was good sex was actually garbage. Lando had absolutely no game. I just didn’t have a frame of reference. I guess I should’ve realized it though, based on his lack of interest in my satisfaction. With Lando, I had to race to make sure I got there before him, because he was definitely going to fall asleep ten seconds after he was done without a thought to whether or not I had a good time. Also different is the complete lack of red flags with Hudson. Well, other than the crazy fans and the trolls, but those aren’t his fault. Plus, I can totally learn to ignore them. I’d happily light a torch to my iPhone and get myself a flip phone so I can live in ignorant bliss for the rest of my life if it means I get to be with him.
Although if I did that, it would be so much harder to text my bestie, which would totally suck. I pick up my phone, only to see a message from her.
Gwen
How’s our sleepover going? Are we having fun?
Me
SO. MUCH. FUN. I’m exhausted but also have never had more energy in my entire life, if that makes sense.
Gwen
Totally does. Let me guess, you’re lying there watching him sleep?
Me
How’d you know?
Gwen
Been there. In fact, doing that right now, to be honest.
Me
Ha! Same brain.
Gwen
Aren’t you glad you took my advice and slept with him?
Me
Not sure yet. Immediate Gratification Allie is thrilled, but Future Allie might be furious with me for listening to you. He’s leaving in a matter of days. What if I never see him again? Do you know how far it is to Malibu from here? 5 h 53 min by car, 2 days by bike, and 6 days of walking! That’s a long fucking walk, Gwen.
Gwen
First of all, that’s what airplanes are for. Second, you wouldn’t walk to visit him if he lived five blocks from your house, so why are you looking up the amount of time it’ll take to do something you’re never going to do?
Me
Because I might be panicking a little here.
Gwen
You might be? Girl, you are full-on panicking. But seriously, I’ve seen how he looks at you. It’s the real thing. Now let yourself enjoy this moment. It’s the start of something amazing for you.
Me
How can you be sure? He’s never been in love before, which seems odd since he’s nearly forty and can pretty much snap his fingers and any number of women would come running, all of whom would be ready to have his children. So the question is, what’s been holding him back? And is it remotely possible that whatever it is won’t be an issue with me? Which leads me to the next question—what makes me so freaking special? Because honestly, I don’t get it.
Gwen
I’m not even dignifying that last garbage question with an answer. Don’t overthink this. Ty was over forty when I met him and he’d never been in love before either. Maybe H has been waiting for you this whole time.
