AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Just when I’m starting to think I might be ready to get things going again, the power goes out, and we’re left in complete darkness.
“Well, that’s not good,” she says.
Nuzzling her neck, I murmur, “We don’t need lights for what I have in mind.”
“As much as I love where you’re going with this, without power, we don’t have any heat,” she says, kissing me again. “We’ll need to get a fire going in the fireplace so the pipes won’t freeze, but after that…”
An hour later, we’re snuggled up in front of the fireplace on a pull-out sofa, where we’re going to spend the night. The flames flicker and the sound of wood popping and hissing fills the otherwise silent space. We’re laying on our sides facing each other, and even though we just finished round two, the sight of her like this, laying here in my arms, has me ready to start all over again. I pull the blankets up over Allie’s shoulder to keep her warm and give her a lingering kiss.
“God, I love the snow,” I tell her. What I mean is, God, I love you, but I can’t exactly say that.
“Me too. I can’t believe I’ve gone thirty-five years without knowing how wonderful it could be,” she answers, running her fingertips over my forearm. “But it’s so, so wonderful. Dreamy, even.”
Grinning down at her, I say, “Totally dreamy. I hope it never stops snowing.”
She gives me a skeptical look. “You’d get bored if you were trapped alone with me for very long.”
“I wouldn’t. I already know I wouldn’t,” I tell her. “Eventually, we’d both get hungry, but otherwise, I’d be completely happy.”
“You’re supposed to be acting like a jerk, remember?”
“But then I would’ve missed out on all this,” I say, kissing her forehead. “And that would never do.”
“I’d say of the two of us, I got the better end of the deal,” she says, snuggling into me a little more.
“How so?”
“Because you’re … you and I’m just … me.”
Lifting my head off the pillow, I give her a hard look. “You’ve got to stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop discounting yourself. You’re an incredible person, Allie. Seriously. You’re smart and funny and sexy as hell, so stop thinking I could do better, because it’s the other way around,” I say, hoping my words find their way to her heart. “You can do so much better than me.”
“Nobody can do better than you.”
Shaking my head, I say. “Not true. Everything about me is … manufactured. I’m just a guy who’s good at pretending to be something he’s not. I wasn’t born with this body. I built it at the gym.”
“But you built it. You did that work. No one else did.”
“But I never would have, not if I was, say, a plumber or something,” I answer. “It’s all just for show. The whole damn thing.”
She reaches up and touches my cheek. “Now, you’re the one who needs to stop because if you don’t get how amazing you are, there is something seriously wrong with this world.” Rubbing her thumb over my skin, she goes on. “You’re the most kind and charming person I’ve ever met, not to mention thoughtful. I mean, showing up at my house to cook so I could keep working? And keeping me fed and hydrated when you could’ve just sat around studying?” Shaking her head, she says, “And the way you make me feel … it’s like you think I’m special, and if I hung around with you long enough, I might even start to believe it too.”
“I said those things because I meant they’re true, and helping someone out is just being a decent person.”
“But do you know how rare that is? Having someone to support you like you’ve supported me? You’re amazing, Hudson. And not because you can act, or because you have a lot of money. It’s because you’re the way you are in spite of those things.” She sighs, and it feels like she’s seeing into my soul—all my hopes and dreams and insecurities. And it terrifies me.
Needing to push away the thoughts I’m burning to say, I prop myself up on one elbow and kiss her hard, rolling her onto her back. She lets out a moan that tells me she wants to go with me where I want to take her, and soon we’re tangled up in each other again, our bodies moving together like we’ve always done this and always will. I banish all thoughts of tomorrow morning, when all of this is going to come to an end, and, instead, focus on showing her exactly what she means to me. I’m saying how I feel about her without uttering a word, without risking anything. I’m in love with her. I feel powerful and loved when I’m with her. I feel like I could take on the world and win.
But I’m also too much of a coward to tell her the truth that she deserves to hear. And that is possibly what’s most disappointing about this entire thing because I know myself. I’m never going to tell her the whole truth. I’m never going to let her see the real me. And not just because I’m not even sure who he is anymore. It’s because deep down, I know she deserves more than what I have to offer.
28
Baby Ducks and Snuggles
Allie
