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So, you’ll pass the message on?
Lucia
Fine, but what do I tell them about the fact that you’re not calling them yourself?
Me
Just … tell them there’s no cell reception to place calls. Only to text.
Lucia
That’s not a thing.
Me
It could be. I’m not a telecommunications engineer.
Lucia
Who are you? My sister hates liars, and one date with this man and you’re ready to sell your soul to the devil.
Me
Am not. I just can’t handle the pepper vs. tomato paste talk right now. Hey, I thought you were in a big rush?
Lucia
I’m still waiting for Camilla to get off the toilet. I think she’s constipated.
Me
Okay, not sure she would want her auntie to know that.
Lucia
Oh, she’s out. Gotta go. I’ll call Ma in a bit, but you owe me.
Me
Thanks.
“You can’t sleep with him. You can’t. No,” I say to the woman in the mirror. She just had a shower, and it should’ve been a cold one because the thoughts going through her head belong in a letter to Playboy. “Just no.”
Oh, but I really, really, really want to. Like really, really, more than anything I’ve ever wanted to do. In fact, I’d honestly hand Frank over to Lando right now if it meant one night with Hudson. Guilt hits me immediately. I could never do that to Frank. But the fact that I even thought that shows how very badly I need to stay away from Hudson. Only I don’t want to. Not even a bit. There’s a devil inside me that’s urging me to walk out of this bathroom, drop my towel and say, “How about it?”
But that’s not who I am. At the end of the day, I’m boring. So boring, I can’t hold a man’s attention. And Hudson isn’t just any man. He’s a man who can have whoever he wants whenever he wants. He may seem interested in me, and maybe he is, but only in a curious sort of, ‘what would it be like to sleep with a total nerd’ type of way. But even if we did somehow fall into some sort of weird, mismatched relationship, he’d get bored. Fast.
And even if it did last a few glorious weeks or months, there’s all that online hate I’d have to deal with. And I know me. I won’t be able to ignore it. I could try, sure. But eventually, my need to know will get the better of me, and I’ll break, and spend hours scrolling through shitty comments people are saying about me, which will hurt more than it should and bring out every last one of my insecurities. It’ll eat away at us. I know it will. So that’s that. Time to woman up and go spend a very chaste evening with my dream man. That’s what I’m going to do. Keep it professional and go to bed early if I feel like I’m going to crack.
I pull on my leggings, a long-sleeved tee, and some wool socks, and give myself another quick lecture in the mirror. “You can do this. You’ve managed to go years without sex. You can last one more night.”
I pull open the bathroom door and follow my nose to the kitchen, only to see Hudson setting the table, his arms flexing with the effort. Damn him for wearing a fitted t-shirt and jeans and having all those muscles. How’s a girl supposed to resist that? “Something smells delicious.”
It’s him. He’s the thing that smells delicious. And not just because he showered already.
He smiles at me. “You must be really hungry then because it’s just frozen pizza.”
I pick up the box. “Oh, but it’s extreme meat lover’s which sounds very decadent.”
