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“I’m not mad. Well, not at you.”
“But you just compared me to a ball of gas.”
“Don’t forget the dust.”
“That too.”
“I kind of had to. You set me up so perfectly,” she says with a tiny grin.
I smile back as relief washes over me. Maybe the next couple of weeks won’t be as awful as I imagined. It’s not going to go back to what it was before, with the incredible sexual tension and the lusty thoughts. Well, the thoughts will be there, but the potential for acting on them is totally gone. I’ve already pushed things way farther than I should have. It’s time to get smart and do the right thing. Even if it kills me.
24
Seat Warmers and Sweet, Hot Coffee…
Allie - Thursday
It’s four a.m. and I’m already dressed and ready to go for the day. I’m a bundle of emotions, partly from lack of sleep, but mainly from being in love and being extremely confused about being in love. On a scale of one to ten, I’m a thousand confused. He seems to have feelings for me. That kiss certainly felt real. And the hand holding. But then he backed off so easily, it’s made me realize I have to accept the fact that nothing is going to happen between us. Whatever that was on Saturday night, it’s over. Dead. Turned to dust and blown into the wind. Not coming back. We’ve taken three steps back to acting like very professional work colleagues, which is better, even though I hate every minute of it. It’s nearly impossible to pretend I’m indifferent to him, not with all these thoughts of all the things I want to do with him floating in and out of my mind without my permission.
I just have to survive the next two weeks with him, then I can move on with my normal life. He’ll go back to L.A., the trolls will move onto someone else, and I can start the process of forgetting all about him. But first, I have to get through a very long day alone with him without confessing my undying love. Should be no problem, right? Even though this desperate part of me wants to blurt it out every few seconds whenever I’m around him.
Hudson and I are on our way up to Black Creek so I can show him the radio telescopes. It’s over five hours each way and when we get there, I’ll be relieving the small team that works there, so they can all have a day off at the same time. They’ll come back around dinner time, and Hudson and I will start the long trek back.
I’m standing at the door with a small overnight bag packed and two travel mugs filled with coffee. He pulls up in his truck and I sneak out the front door, hoping not to wake my parents. There’s a cold wind that whips my hair around and chills me to the bone by the time I reach his truck.
Hudson’s already standing at the passenger door, holding it open. Damn him for being such a gentleman. He takes the coffees from me and sets them in the console cup holders, then slips my bag off my shoulder. “Good morning.”
“I’m still calling this night,” I tell him as I climb into his Range Rover.
Opening the back passenger door, he puts my bag on the seat, then hurries around to get in out of the cold. I immediately notice that my seat is toasty against my back and thighs. “You pre-warmed my seat for me, thank you.”
“And you brought coffees. Thank you,” he says. “Which one is not going to give me diabetes?”
I chuckle a little and point to his. “Black like the soul of a man who breaks his Nan’s gravy boat, then blames an imaginary raccoon.”
He laughs, then pulls away from the curb. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“I haven’t decided yet. I’m still forty percent asleep.”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“I’m a scientist. We’re a specific bunch,” I answer. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. I’m used to long days from being on set.”
Of course he is. Mr. Perfect. Oh dammit, I can’t be sarcastic about him. He actually is perfect. He has a sip of the coffee, then replaces it to the console. “I really appreciate you taking an entire day away from work to go with me,” he says. “Not that you had much of a choice in the matter.”
“I might as well go. Frank and I need a bit of a break from each other,” I answer, yawning. “We’re not exactly getting along right now. Besides, I’m happy to go. I like it up there. It’s very peaceful.”
“Have you spent a lot of time there?”
Nodding, I say, “Just after grad school. Keenan sends everyone up there for a few months so they can learn how to monitor and troubleshoot any equipment problems. It’s important that each team member knows this stuff so we can keep the telescopes working.”
“Makes sense. He’s a great boss.”
I let out another yawn, covering it with my hand. “The best.”
“That’s one of the weird things about being an actor. No real boss, no team that you stay with. I mean, there’s always the director, but that changes every job. Unless you’re doing a series, that is, which I haven’t done since I got my start.”
