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“You’re fucking with this?! This?!!!” Ferris says, his pitch going so high I can hardly hear him.
My body goes numb as Hudson slides the phone out of my hand and shuts it off. “Shit. Sorry.”
I sit, stunned, humiliated, and hurt, tears stinging my eyes as Ferris’s words blare through my brain.
“I know it’s hard, but try not to take it personally. He wouldn’t be happy no matter who I was with.”
I nod a little, trying to pretend I’m fine with the whole thing. “It’s all good. I know he’s got a thing for you. And that picture of me is probably the worst one anyone has ever taken. I’m going to kill my sister for posting that.”
“You’re fine. You just look like you’re having a really fun time,” he says. “Unlike now.”
I chew on my bottom lip, my mind racing to figure out what this is all going to mean. “Okay, so the team is obviously going to find out, and oh, crap, my family too.”
Hudson winces. “Your dad.”
Nodding, I say, “Yeah, and you thought it was awkward when he just suspected you of wanting to…” I trail off, not finishing the sentence because I honestly don’t know what Hudson wants from me. “Maybe don’t come over tomorrow for Sunday dinner.”
“Yeah, that would be the smart play,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He lets out a long sigh. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I knew better and I’m sorry.”
My entire body feels hot, but not in a good way—hot with shame. I stare down at my hands and fold them on my lap, not knowing what to say.
“That didn’t come out the way I intended. I’m not sorry I kissed you, I’m sorry I kissed you in such a public place because now your life is about to get a whole lot more complicated.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Just … don’t go looking online. It won’t do you any good to read the shitty things people have to say.”
“Some of them may be nice.”
“You won’t remember the nice comments. Only the nasty ones. Trust me. I know.”
We’re quiet for a long time, then Hudson says, “Hey, would you like to get something to eat? I hate that the night is ending so early.”
I shake my head, my stomach too tied up in knots to want to eat. “No, thanks. I think it would just draw more attention.”
“What if we go through a drive thru? In-N-Out Burger?”
“I don’t want anything, but we can stop if you’re hungry.”
“That’s okay. Why don’t I just get you home?”
“Yes, that would be good,” I answer. “I can’t wait to get into some cozy pajamas and crawl into bed.” Alone. Without the man of my dreams.
I stare out the window for a few minutes, then feel Hudson’s arm wrap around my shoulder. He gives me a kiss on top of my head and pulls me close. “I’m sorry.”
I let myself lean into him, basking in the warmth that is his body. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.”
“No, it is.”
He holds me like this for the rest of the ride home, neither of us saying or doing anything more than just snuggling together as my mind tries to wrap itself around reality. This is what it would be to be with him. It wouldn’t be a fairy tale. It would be the relentless pursuit of privacy. It would be me never measuring up to what society believes Hudson should have. It would be me getting hurt over and over again. I close my eyes and let my thoughts drift, feeling hollow and alone, even though he’s right here.
When we pull up in front of my parents’ house, the lights are still on, which means my parents are still awake. I reach up and unclasp the necklace, letting it drop into my hand. My skin feels cold and empty where the jewels were, and I hand them to him with a sad smile. “Thank you for the lovely evening.”
“It wasn’t lovely. I screwed it up,” he says, sliding the necklace in his jacket pocket.
“You tried. That’s what matters,” I answer. “Besides, even half a date with someone like you is a once-in-a-lifetime thing for a girl like me.”
The driver opens the door and Hudson gets out, then holds his hand out to me, and I take it, allowing him to help me. He grips my hand and turns toward the front door, but I stay put. “I think it’s better if we say goodbye here.”
