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We both shudder and say, “Chad.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she says. “That sucks fur balls.”
“It really does, especially because I know Frank can do it. We just need a few more weeks.” I look at my screen, squinting my eyes at Frank’s latest attempt at tweezing out a needle from the haystack of signals I’ve given him. “Crap. I’m pretty sure he’s just detected a Boeing 707 again.”
“Just like a man. Can’t find anything, even if it’s in plain sight.” She puts on a goofy man voice and says, “Honey, are we out of ketchup?” Returning her voice to normal, she says, “It’s right there. Behind the olives.”
“I should’ve named him after a woman.”
There’s a knock on the door, then Chad comes strolling in and plants himself on the corner of my desk. “I guess you’ve heard the big news by now.”
“Yup,” I answer.
He smirks down at me. “Look, it’ll happen for you eventually. You’re just not ready yet, Allie. But don’t feel bad. Few people are. As assistant director, I have an edge. It just looks better for us to send one of the men at the top to represent our team.”
The fact that he said ‘men’ is no accident. Chad’s as sexist as a day on Venus is long, and since a single day on Venus is the equivalent of 243 Earth days, he’s pretty fucking sexist. He looks over at Gwen. “Pretty cool that I get to present, hey?”
She just blinks slowly at him in response.
“What? Don’t tell me you think she should go instead of me? I know you’re friends and all, but seriously, even you must admit I’m the guy who’s getting things done around here.”
Picking up her coffee, Gwen has a long swig of it without breaking eye contact, and it occurs to me that Chad makes Frank look like a freaking genius at picking up signals.
“Oh, I get it. The ladies of STEM have to stick together, right? Forget logic and reason, you’re all about girl power.” He does a fist pump to emphasize his point.
Gwen glares at him. “Allie is on the precipice of the biggest breakthrough in SETI history. If she can get it done in time, she should one-hundred-percent be presenting.”
“Well, Keenan and I don’t think she’s ready,” he says, turning to me. “So it would be a lot better if you can just learn to accept that.”
There’s no way in hell Keenan consulted Chad on the matter. And yet, like the giant douche waffle he is, Chad’s pretending he had something to do with the decision.
Fixing him with a steely gaze, Gwen says, “If there’s nothing else you came to say, we should all get back to work.”
“You’re not my boss, Gwendolyn,” Chad tells her. “You’re the person sleeping with him, which, quite frankly, is a whole different thing.”
Ah, hell no. “Did you just say that?!” I snap. “Did you actually just say that to Gwen? Our hero?! The woman who single-handedly saved our program?”
He shrugs. “If you call what she did heroic.”
“You certainly couldn’t have done it,” I tell him.
“Yeah, because Mr. Sterling isn’t gay.”
“He did not give us funding because she slept with him.” Turning to Gwen, I say, “Although I’m sure you’re very talented in that department.” Glaring at Chad, I continue. “She convinced him with her beautiful mind. And for that, she’s owed a debt of gratitude. If it weren’t for her, you’d be … living in your parents’ basement, spending your days trolling people online.”
“Don’t you live in your parents’ basement?” he asks.
“I live upstairs, thank you very much,” I answer, my voice shaking with anger. “And I only moved back in with them because my father had a stroke.”
Chad snorts, then stands up. “Yeah, years ago, and if I’m not mistaken, he’s fine now. Anyway, you ladies should get back to work. I’d hate to have to tell Keenan you’re slacking.”
He hurries out before Gwen can throw a stapler at him.
As soon as he’s gone, I get up and shut the door. Turning to Gwen, I let out a growl. “Oh my God, Gwen, if that jackass gets to present instead of me, I’m going to lose it.”
“Um, it sounds like it’s a done deal.”
“Yeah, he may believe that and Keenan may believe that, but they’re both dead wrong,” I tell her, sitting back down.
