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Two minutes and four hugs from my mother later, we’re finally on the road. I grip the armrest on the passenger door while my dad drives toward the freeway.
“What did you need to talk to me about? Are you okay?”
“Healthy as an ox,” he answers. “It’s not about me.”
“Is it Ma?”
“She’s good too. Strong woman, that one.”
“Okay, well you’re just going to have to tell me because I’m not in the mood to name every member of the family right now.”
He slowly makes his way onto the freeway, crossing all four lanes until he’s in the left one. “It’s about you.”
I close my eyes for a second, knowing exactly where this is going. “I told you, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You’re not going to talk. I’m going to talk,” he says, pointing a finger at his chest. “You’re going to listen.”
“Sweet Jesus,” I mutter.
“He’s tomato paste, Allegra. I know it. As a father, I know it.”
“I don’t think you do. You told me he was pepper.”
“I’m willing to admit I was wrong. He’s tomato paste.”
“He’s a big fat liar,” I tell him.
“No. He’s a man who was ashamed of something he had no business being ashamed of. He didn’t come right out and say it, but I’m pretty sure it’s because he has terrible parents.”
My heart picks up its pace, and not just because he almost hit the guardrail. “He told you about his dyslexia?”
Nodding, he says, “He told me everything.”
Oh God, I certainly hope not. “Yeah, well, he only did that because he’s trying to offload all the guilt he should be feeling about what he did.”
“He showed up because he loves you. Because he’s sorry he hurt you. Because he’s finally figured out who he is.”
“He’s been a grown up for a long time. He should have figured his shit out by now.”
“He couldn’t do it before, but he’s doing it now.”
“Oh really? And just how do you know he’s actually doing it now? He’s a professional liar, Pop. He’s made millions pretending to be people he’s not, and that makes him dangerous and unreliable, neither of which make him a good candidate to be with your daughter. So why you’re on his side is beyond me,” I say, staring out the passenger window just long enough to make eye contact with an elderly woman who passes us on the right with her middle finger aimed at my father. “You should be on my side.”
“I am on your side. I’ve always been and will always be on your side,” he tells me. “But it’s my job as a father to tell you when you’re about to ruin your entire life.”
“Oh God, I can’t deal with this right now. I’m late for my flight, I’m stressed out about this stupid trip, and the last thing I need is a big lecture from you.”
“I’m telling you the truth, cara. Hudson is a good man. He’s a hard worker. Life dealt him a crap hand but instead of giving up, he made something of himself, and that is to be respected. He’s also a brave man. He came all the way up to our house, on a Sunday, knowing your entire family would be there, just so he could talk to you. That’s not something pepper does.”
“He only showed up because he doesn’t want me to make a big fuss at the conference. I could really embarrass him.”
“No, he showed up because he loves you and he wants to make it up to you.”
“Oh yeah? If that’s the case, why the hell is he going all the way to Switzerland to steal my thunder?”
“That’s not what’s going to happen.”
“Of course it is. They already printed the agenda and he’s the keynote speaker, and the topic is “The Future of AI in SETI Research!” That’s my topic. Mine. And if he cared even the tiniest bit about me, he would’ve turned them down,” I say, my voice raising. “But he didn’t because he doesn’t care about me at all. He used me. That’s all he did. He used me and made me believe something was possible that isn’t possible. He’s cruel and selfish and I hate him. And nothing is ever going to change that.”
