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“Maybe we should move on to the last challenge,” Thiago says. “I can take you over there and come back for Ty after I get you started.” He gestures to a path through the trees and says, “Come on.”
“I’ll wait here,” I say, my heart squeezing a little when I think about what he must be going through. “I don’t want him to think we abandoned him and since I’m his buddy, I should be the one to stay.”
Also, because I’m shagging him, but we don’t need to bring that up, do we?
Thiago nods and offers me a rare smile. “Thank you. I’ll be back for you soon.”
I wander over to the pool and sit down on a rock, watching the waterfall, waiting for any sign of him and hoping he’s all right.
My chest is heavy and I’m exhausted emotionally and physically. I’ve never been so mixed up or messed up in my entire life. I love him. I hate him. I want him. I want to push him away. I’m like a toddler who needs a nap. Actually, I’m like a terrified woman in love who needs to go home and talk to her best friend. Only I can’t talk to Allie. Not about him.
I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face and noticing how all I can see is bright yellow and little flecks of black dancing across my lids like the flecks on the screen when you watch a really old movie.
My life back home feels like it’s a million miles from here. It feels like it’s been years since I sat at my desk or curled up on my couch when it’s only been a matter of days. But I’ve lived more and done more and seen more in these last few days than I have in my entire life.
A shadow blocks out the sun and I see Ty standing over me, clutching the iPad with a somber look on his face. When my eyes adjust to the brightness again, I notice his skin is a little blotchy and his eyes are red. Standing up, I reach for him, not caring about our conversation right before we got here. I hug him tightly, knowing that is what he needs right now. Not words. Not banter. Just the warmth of another human who wants to ease his pain a little.
He places the iPad on the rock, then wraps his arms around me and holds me close. And suddenly, our lives, our reality, our egos don’t matter. All that matters is this. The two of us together. Caring for each other. I rub his back with my hands, hoping to soothe him in what must be an impossible moment of his life. We stay this way for a long time until he pulls back a little, far sooner than I’m ready. Ty rests his forehead on mine and lets out a deep sigh.
“You okay?” I whisper, a lump in my throat.
He doesn’t say no, even though I know that’s the truth. Instead, he says, “That was a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
“I’m sure it was.”
“He was my best friend.”
“I know.”
“He could also make things so hard sometimes.”
“I know.”
“But so could I.”
“I know that too,” I answer. By heart. “We’re all like that, I think. It’s part of the human condition.”
He lifts his forehead off of mine. “We’re all just a bunch of hot messes, aren’t we? Running around making life so much more complicated than it needs to be.”
I offer him a sad smile. “That is one-hundred-percent accurate.”
He glances around, then says, “Where is everyone?”
“They went on to the final challenge. Thiago is coming back for us.”
“Let me guess, they made you wait because you’re my buddy?”
Shaking my head, I say, “I wanted to be here for you.”
He stares at me for a second, his eyes flicking down to my mouth, but he doesn’t do what I’m silently begging him to do. He doesn’t kiss me. Instead, he nods. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
I pull him close and hug him again, wishing I could tell him how I feel, wishing I could tell him I meant what I said last night. Well, the not-gross parts, anyway. The big parts. The fact that I’m in love with him and I do want to spend my life with him. But this moment isn’t about me. It’s about Ty and it’s about his best friend and it’s about him finally allowing himself to feel the pain of the loss he’s just suffered. “This is a perfect place to stay for all eternity.”
“Yeah, he chose well,” Ty answers. “It’s really something in that cave. Very peaceful.”
“And well-hidden.”
“That too.”
