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He shakes his head and smiles at me. “It was his final last wish.”
I smile back and take the urn. “You sure?”
“No, not really. I have no idea what he’s going to say in that video.”
“Perfect,” I say with a little chuckle.
“He was himself to the very end, wasn’t he?” Rohan says.
“He certainly was. And there will never be another one like him.”
“I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad one.”
“It’s bad. The world needed Richard.” And now he’s gone.
“Here,” Rohan says, flipping the iPad open and turning on the flashlight. “I have a feeling you’re going to need this.”
“Awesome.” I take a deep breath and glance at Gwen, who’s looking at me like her heart might break. I give her a nod, then start across the clearing.
This is real. This is actually happening. Richard is really gone.
I grip the urn and my eyes well up. I find myself feeling grateful for the mist off the water as I creep along the ledge behind the waterfall. Not that anyone else is here to see me right now, but this way I can hide my reaction from myself too. I finally get to an opening in the rock and shine the light into it, only to see it leads to a large cave. As soon as I take a few steps inside, the sound of the water grows more faint. I glance around, in awe of what I’m seeing—ornate carvings of a bird in flight, each one showing the wings in a different position as it seems to fly to the center of the cave. On the far wall, carvings of a condor, a snake, and a puma hover over a gold altar just big enough for the urn. I shake my head and laugh a little. “You son of a bitch,” I mutter. Of course this would be his final resting place.
I carefully approach the altar, imagining some sort of booby trap a la Indiana Jones, but of course nothing happens. I set the urn down carefully on top of it, then stare at it for a second before starting the video.
“Hello Ty,” Richard says with a smile. “What do you think? Is it over the top? I assume you’ll think it’s totally over the top. I bet you laughed when you saw it, but for me, this is the perfect place to rest for eternity, listening to the peaceful sounds of the water. I wanted you to be the last one to be with me, since you were the first one with me as I morphed into the man I became. The truth is, you were the most important person in my life.”
“No, I wasn’t. That was you,” I mutter.
“Although, I’m sure you think I was the most important person in my life, and maybe these last few years I have been, as I’ve been off experiencing life and squeezing in every adventure possible. But the truth is, no one knew me like you did. No one believed in me the way you did when we were first starting out. Those years in college—eating ramen noodles every day, hanging out with you and Michael in our tiny basement suite, and dreaming of what was to come—was the best time of my entire life. I mean it. And that should really say something because I’ve really lived. I’ve seen it all and done it all. But hanging out with you was better than all of it. From the start, you were right there—trusting me and encouraging me—and without you, I wouldn’t have achieved … well, maybe anything. We really did create something wonderful together, didn’t we? It was because we trusted each other, but more than that, we had faith in each other. Where everyone else thought I was a total screw-up, a joke even, you saw a dreamer with potential, and, even more important, you made me see it too. So, thank you for that, Ty. Thank you for having faith in me and accepting me as I was because that has made all the difference.”
I let out a sob, then blink quickly, trying to get myself under control.
“I want you to know I still have every faith in you. I always have. That faith was the reason I was able to go off and do everything I’ve done—because I knew you were back home holding down the fort. I owe you an apology for leaving you to handle it all. Running the company and the foundation is a massive undertaking. It’s all been on your shoulders for so long and even though you do it so well, I know it weighs on you. I told myself that you need to stay home for Michael anyway, so one of us might as well be off exploring. But the truth is, I just needed to be free.”
“I know you did,” I say, wishing we could’ve had this conversation while he was still alive.
“I’m sorry, Ty. I really am. You’re a good friend and you’ve got a huge heart, even though you keep it tucked away from almost everyone who meets you. My wish for you is that you finally find peace. Real peace. The kind that can only come from forgiving and letting go. Let your heart open up again. Let people see you for who you really are, because that guy—my best friend from college—was incredible. The greatest. Maybe sell the corporation and find something you love to do all day. Paint or do macramé or grow orchids. I don’t know. Something that’s just for you, because so far, you’ve spent your entire life living for other people. You’ve done an amazing job with Michael. You’ve given him more than anyone else could’ve. And it’s long past time for you to give yourself something more too. My wish for you is that you’ll let yourself really live. Have the courage to be vulnerable. Love someone. Yes, you might get hurt, but what if you don’t?”
Gwen’s face pops into my mind and his words vibrate through me. What if I don’t get hurt? The thought gives me a flicker of warm light deep inside.
“All right, so this is it. The final goodbye. I love you, man. You were my best friend, my brother, and my partner. Thank you. Be good to yourself for a change. You deserve it. Oh, and don’t worry, you’re not going to have a huge boulder chase you when you leave or anything.” Richard holds up one hand and smiles. “Take care, my friend. And for God’s sake, try to have some fun.”
The screen goes black and I let the tears roll down my cheeks, sniffling as the reality of what’s happening overwhelms me. I wipe away the tears and place a hand on his urn. “Look, I don’t believe you’re really here listening so I know I’m saying this just for myself. We had a complicated relationship, especially these last few years, but I’m sorry you’re gone. I’m sorry to lose you because you really were my best friend. You believed in me too and together, we took this amazing ride, getting farther than either of us dared to imagine we would. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on much, but you’re right, we created something incredible. We had it all. We really did. Somehow, I think we both lost our way a little.” My voice cracks and I let a few more tears out before I keep going. “And I have to hand it to you, these last few days have done what you wanted them to do—made me question how I’m living and what I’m doing. I wish you were here right now so I could ask your opinion on buying the team because I’m suddenly not sure it’s the right thing to do. And as far as the foundation goes, I finally get it. After spending time with some of the people out here, I understand what you were trying to do. What you did. You gave a bunch of dreamers a place where they could feel accepted and where they could keep their hope alive. It was a beautiful thing you did, Richard. I only hope Skip will keep it going.”
I pause and let my shoulders drop, not wanting to walk away just yet. “Thank you, my friend. Thank you for everything.”
31
Just the Two of Us…
Gwen
“He’s been gone quite a while,” Savannah says. “Should we go look for him?”
I shake my head. “I think he just needs time to do this.”
A look of understanding crosses her face. “Yeah, probably.”
