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“Well, if it never happened, why do I remember it too?” Niles asks. “I distinctly remember you saying you were going to get married this morning and spend every second of the rest of your lives together, including in the bathroom.”
“Eww,” I say. “That’s both weird and gross.”
“You totally said it. I heard it with my own ears,” Savannah says.
“Maybe it was some sort of group hallucination,” I tell them, grasping at the very last available straw. “That was some powerful stuff they gave us.”
They all burst out laughing while Ty and I stare at them.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
“It was bourbon and tea with some spices in it,” Niles says. “Thiago told us this morning.”
“And it was only half a shot of bourbon,” Savannah laughs. “We were all basically sober.”
“No, that’s not possible,” Ty says, shaking his head. “Because I’d never black out if I were sober.”
“Same here,” I say. “The spices in it must have been … super powerful.”
“Nope. Just a bit of cinnamon, some nutmeg, and cloves.”
Ty shakes his head and scoffs. “There’s no way that’s true. It was clearly a very powerful psychedelic.”
“No, it really wasn’t,” Savannah says. “We all were able to abandon our inhibitions because of the environment and the power of suggestion. The whole thing was entirely placebo. We all felt the effects because we wanted to.”
“And we said things we wanted to say,” Niles adds.
Fuuuucccck. Also, somehow, yay! Because he must have feelings for me. Oh my God, I’m so confused. I need to go lie down.
“Which means you two actually do want to get married and you, Ty, want to put … how did he put it?” Savannah asks.
“As many babies inside her as possible,” Karen answers. They all start laughing again while Ty and I sit red-faced and totally busted.
Thiago walks over to the table. Oh, thank God for Thiago. He’s going to save us. “I’m sorry to interrupt the fun this morning, but we have a long day ahead.” He pauses and sneers at Ty and me. “If we’re going to fit in a wedding ceremony as well, we’ll need to really hustle.”
Apparently he’s not going to save us. He’s going to join in the fun instead.
“Nope, that’s fine,” Ty says. “We’re definitely not getting married.”
I wait for him to say the word ‘today,’ but he doesn’t, and somehow that one little missing word causes me to abandon all hope.
“Oh, so you had a change of heart,” Thiago says.
“Yup,” I mutter, wishing a giant fish bowl with blades would land right now so I could climb on and get the hell out of here.
“Excellent,” Thiago says. “Because a wedding would’ve been a problem.”
“Obviously we’re not going to have a wedding in the middle of a funeral,” I say, as though the idea were Thiago’s to begin with.
“Well, you seemed so certain of the idea last night, I wasn’t entirely sure you’d have come to your senses this morning,” he says. “Anyway, today we’re going on a long hike. It’s going to rain so dress accordingly.” Thiago sets the urn down next to Ty’s plate and hangs the Baby Bjorn on the back of his chair. “You’re taking Dr. Napper today. It’s your turn. Plus, it’ll be good practice for when you and Ms. Fox have all those babies.”
“You know, they really shouldn’t be allowed to pretend to drug people,” Ty says.
“Agreed,” I pant, walking next to him as we climb the steep, slippery path. We’re behind the rest of the pack again and are making our way up a mountain in the rain. Normally, I’d be looking around in awe, taking in as much of the lush scenery as possible so I wouldn’t forget it. But I’m too angry to notice any of it. Screw the rainforest. I’m beyond humiliated and I’m over the top pissed off. “It’s got to be unethical, no?”
“Definitely,” he answers. “We should report them to … someone.”
“Yeah, like the board that oversees shaman.” Pant, pant. “Oh, or maybe TripAdvisor.”
