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Speaking of guilt, I still haven’t made things right with Gwen, and after hearing more about her family, I feel much worse about being so hard on her, especially about calling her stupid. If I had to guess, I’d say she already feels stupid a lot of the time, even though that’s the very last thing she is. Argumentative, feisty, and occasionally insensitive, yes. But she’s something so much better than some vapid human with no opinions on anything. She’s alive with passion and is unfailingly honest, even when it’s the last thing she should be.
At least I’m going to have a lot of time alone with her to try to make things right. We’re about to embark on a day-long canoeing trip down the Amazon, and we’ll be traveling in pairs with our buddies. In Richard’s video, he told us today’s theme was survival. We’ve each been given a tent, sleeping gear, and food, and we’ll be heading even deeper into the jungle, where we will spend a night without the ‘luxuries’ of the tree house, which I’m guessing means no outhouse and no cook.
The group is quiet this morning, and I’m sure it’s because we’re all a little worn out from the last couple of days. Gwen has barely said two words as we load up our canoe, which bothers me more than it should. I’m not one to care too much if people aren’t happy with me. In fact, you can’t be a people pleaser and a CEO—that doesn’t work—so the fact that I’m so desperate to fix things with her is surprising, to say the least.
“So, I think that’s everything,” she says, glancing briefly at me.
“Yup, I think so.” Remembering her nervous bladder, I say, “Do you want to … run to the ladies’ room before we set off?”
She nods. “I better, thanks.”
I stand by the shore and watch the other pairs as they prepare to set off. Thiago and Rohan have the canoe next to ours. They’ve got Richard’s urn loaded up at the front of their canoe already, strapped in and ready to go. Niles, Savannah, and Karen, who are all traveling together, look like they’re set to go. The two women are sitting already as Niles pushes off from the shore and hops in, surprising me with how skilled he is at this.
My call with Michael yesterday pops into my head and I look down at the river, narrowing my eyes to see if I can spot any of those tiny vampire fish. They can’t be real, can they? I shudder at the thought of them. “Say, Thiago, is that thing about the vampire fish true?”
He looks over at me and nods. “Probably. The local people have been telling stories about them for hundreds of years. In fact, they used to tie off their penises when they would go fishing, but the chances of having one invade your urethra is very slim, especially if you’re wearing underwear.”
Well, that’s not exactly comforting. “How slim?”
“Are you wearing underwear?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll be fine. Besides, you’re not going to be in the river. You’re going to be on the river in a canoe. Totally safe.”
“Right.”
“Honestly, I’d be more worried about piranhas than vampire fish if I were you. They’re far more dangerous,” he says. “Where is your buddy? We’re all supposed to travel in one group.”
“She’ll be right back. You guys go ahead.”
He gives me a skeptical look. “Do you even know how to canoe?”
“I went to summer camp.” Once and I hated it.
“Did they teach you how to canoe at summer camp?”
“Yes,” I tell him.
“On a fast-flowing river filled with crocodiles and piranhas?”
“Er, not exactly, but don’t worry. I’ve got it covered.”
“Maybe Rohan and you should switch. He’s an experienced canoer and so am I.”
No way. I need time alone with Gwen. “Apparently Gwen is really experienced.”
He raises one eyebrow. “She is?”
“Oh yeah. She basically grew up in a canoe.”
“This isn’t going to be a problem, is it?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Nope. Definitely not. Because the last thing you need right now is more problems.”
“Exactly,” he says. “Now, you have the map, yes?”
“Yes,” I say, reaching into the canoe and holding it up. “Go ahead. There’s only one direction we can go, right? Downstream?”
