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When he shoves me against the side of the barn, his arm across my neck, I know exactly who’s got me. Fear spikes through me and I remind myself Dell’s always been a coward, sneaking around in the shadows instead of confronting me. Even last night, he didn’t stand in the light, but waited for me to come to him, his features obscured.
He’s harmless. That’s what I tell myself, but my body responds with adrenaline, recognizing a threat, and the urge to fight and run is strong.
The truth is, he might not be the same Dell I remember. He might be desperate enough to really hurt me and I can’t let him see I’m afraid.
I stay still, staring into the darkness like I’m bored. He lowers his arm to my clavicle, pinning me in place, but not cutting off my air supply.
“Dell.” I insert calm into my voice. “I don’t have your money yet.”
“I didn’t think you did.” His voice is strained, like even the action of pinning me has left him breathless. “I just want to inject urgency into the situation, Honeybun. I know where you live and I know your sisters are here. If you don’t get the money, I’ll burn this whole place to the ground.”
I laugh. “You’re not an arsonist.”
He huffs in irritation. “I don’t mean literally. I mean like figurally or whatever. I’ll tell your sisters about how you were a criminal and dating a low-life like me and they’ll kick you out and never speak to you again.”
That is almost worse than the idea of him literally burning down the house. “I’m not that person anymore. They’d see that.”
“People don’t change. You told me your sisters would never want to see you again if they knew you were conning people.”
That he chose to hear and remember. “People can change, Dell. You’re trying to change, right?”
He looks away, the dim light of the moon lighting his profile. “Right. But I can’t do that without help from you. How long until—” He hisses out a sharp breath and lowers his head.
I look down, peering into the deep grass, trying to see whatever he’s looking at. It has to be a snake, right?
The back of his head smacks my face so hard my head slams back into the side of the barn. “Ow.” I cup a hand over my cheekbone and eye socket, which are now throbbing.
“Shit.” Dell grips my chin with a tenderness that feels out of place. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I lower my hand, not wanting to look weak in front of him. “What were you looking at?”
“I felt something brush my leg. How can you live out here?”
I laugh, adrenaline and fear and sorrow mixing. “I guess I’ve changed.”
I’ve always smiled and laughed at the wrong times, found humor in the grim or intractable. I’m glad of it now.
Dell takes a step back. “You’re as weird as ever, baby.” There’s fondness in the comment.
“What went wrong?”
Dell doesn’t ask what I mean. He knows. “You left. We couldn’t keep the scam running on our own.”
That’s a lie. He and Maya had it under control. As much as I needed to be done with them, I wouldn’t have left them in a bad situation. Of course, I tried to convince them to go straight, but I couldn’t force them to do anything.
There’s only one other thing that could have gotten them into trouble. I’ve long suspected it, but I want to hear it from Dell. I want to be absolved of some of my guilt. “You got greedy.”
His laugh is dark and dry. “Why shouldn’t I have gotten greedy? I’ve had nothing, while people stupider and crueler than me get rich every day. Why should I struggle when I have what it takes to rise above?”
There was a time I believed Dell loved me. I always knew he loved money and booze more, but at that time in my life, any scraps of love I could gather up felt like enough. And Dell was handsome and fun and incredibly charismatic.
The man before me is broken and bitter and angry at the world.
Being afraid of him feels too much like being afraid of my own shadow. All he has to do to bring me to my knees is reveal my darkness to my sisters. I am the weapon he’ll use against me.
As long as he has the mindset that the world owes him something, he’s never going to get anywhere. “But you’re going to do it the legal way this time, right? You’re going to earn an honest living to get that good life.” I don’t buy his story for a second, but I’ll pretend to if it convinces him to back off for a while.
“Only if you get me the money I need to get started.” He strokes a finger over my cheek. “I never had a rich daddy to give me a leg up in life. I need your help.”
