Page 40 of Savage Lover


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But do I tell him the truth? Do I tell him we can’t do this?

No, no I don’t.

“I do,” I say quickly, every cell of my being terrified that if I don’t claim him, the offer will be rescinded.

“Okay.” He places a kiss on my forehead, and I melt. “Well, I’m sure it goes without saying that we need to take it slow.” He laughs softly at his own words. “I mean, as slow as we can, having already done all the things we’ve done. My relationship history doesn’t exactly give me a guide for how to navigate something like this.”

Uh, yeah. Mine neither.

“Of course. Slow is good.”

Oh, sweet treachery.

Chapter Nine

Ben

It took me a lot of years to reach private helicopter status, and these days, it’s the only way I like to get on and off Merit Island.

I actually cringe at the idea of how this girl must have been ferried over here yesterday when she snuck up to my house.

Woman. Victoria is a woman. Not a girl.

I make a mental note to remove the word girl from my thoughts and vocabulary when it comes to her.

I’m still not quite sure what’s going on here, but what I do know is that I couldn’t make myself stop if I tried.

And I am nothing if not the master of my own willpower.

She’s got some kind of draw that I don’t want to ignore. Our time together is…well, it’s fun.

When was the last time I had fun?

Never comes to mind, but that can’t be right, can it? I mean, I raised an entire child, there must have been fun times.

But when I scan back through my memories of Ains’ childhood, the only emotion that rises inside me is fear. I spent his childhood terrified that I would screw him up or let him die and fail to live up to the promise I made to my dying wife.

Take good care of Ainsley, Ben. He loves you so much.

Words I used to write over and over in my dark study at night while he slept in his bedroom. Words I tattooed onto my soul.

And I did take good care of him. I raised him according to the very best advice available on the topic. Gave him every opportunity for education and enrichment. Every opportunity to succeed in life.

Only to have him squander it on a life of?—

“What’s got your face all twisted like that?”

I smile at Victoria's voice, coming out of the house to join me in the golf cart. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just work stuff.”

Not that this girl, woman dammit, would care that I more or less failed my job as a parent. She has no idea what a commitment like that does to a person, and probably won’t know for years.

Oh, to be young and free again.

“Speaking of work, I kinda forgot that I have a spa center meeting coming up at eleven this morning, so do you think we could head out?”

I glance at my watch. Ten thirty. I grind my teeth just a bit at the thought of her carelessly shirking her responsibilities, but then I hear my dentist’s voice in my head and relax my jaw. “You might be a few minutes late. I can call ahead and let them know if you?—”

“No. No, that’s okay,” she says, far too quickly. “It’s not a huge deal, we’re just going over the schedules for the next few weeks and talking about how the opening went. It’ll be okay if I’m a few minutes late.”

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