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My heart squeezes in my chest. I am his father and I do care for him, but I haven’t been very good at showing it. The responsibility was stifling. I promised myself I’d take care of him, but when it came down to it, I wasn’t able to rise to the challenge of parenting alone. I took the easy way out by choosing to devote my life to my career. Nothing I do will ever make up for my past mistakes… But the least I can do is be upfront with him on why I'm marrying her.
"She’s the one for me."
He scoffs.
"The other time I’ve felt this way was when I held you in my arms the first time."
"And look how good a job you did with that."
I wince. "I wasn’t a good father."
"You were the worst." He scowls.
"I won’t try to defend myself."
"Nothing you say is going to change my mind about you."
"That’s not what I’m here for."
"Then why are you here? If it's to ask for my blessing?—"
"I'm not asking for your permission, I'm telling you what’s going to happen. I’m marrying her —"
"You told me already."
"—tomorrow."
"What?" His eyes widen. His features form into a look of shock. "That soon?"
"Arthur… Your grandfather… He’s not well. He insists I marry her sooner than not."
"You and he are the same." He looks me up and down. "You only watch out for your own interests."
"That might have been true once, but not anymore."
"Which is why you’re marrying my fiancée?"
"Your ex-fiancée. Also, I hate to remind you once again, but you didn’t turn up for your wedding.”
"I know." He squeezes his fingers around the glass of whiskey. "I’m aware of my faults, but at least I’m honest enough to admit to them, unlike you."
I toss back the rest of the whiskey in my glass, then search his features. "I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better parent. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop your mother from leaving."
"She didn’t want me."
"No, don’t say that. She couldn’t cope with being a mother; doesn’t mean she didn’t want you."
"I suppose I should be grateful you stayed." He gives me a considering look. "Even though you were an absent parent, you at least provided for the roof over my head. And I never went hungry. And you did make sure Great Aunt Margaret was there for me."
"I should have stayed. I should have resigned from the Marines?—"
He laughs and it’s the first genuine emotion I’ve heard from him in a long time. "You and not having a military career? You and I both know you’d have been miserable."
"Instead, I made you miserable?—"
He shrugs. "I was too young to understand how important being a Marine was to you. You had a lot of your identity tied up with it."
"I was also a father."
