His silence confirms I'm right. My heart somersaults into my throat. My chest feels like the freaking Himalayan Mountain range has collapsed on it. My shoulders sag. He’s not denying it.
I… came here to confront him and fight for him, for our marriage. And now… I wonder if I was mistaken.
I thought he cared for me, that he wasn’t able to voice his affection for me because of his upbringing and everything that happened with him in the Marines. But now…? Now, I wonder if I should have believed him.
Maybe he meant every last word when he said he didn’t love me. That he was simply saying the words needed to convince me to do what he wanted, and only because he wanted to save his inheritance and consolidate his position in his father’s company.
"I was going to say, if you hadn’t entered then, I’d have pulled away. I was about to ask her to leave, anyway."
"More lies," I huff.
"They are not lies." His voice is unperturbed.
It’s as if he’s trying to talk sense into an errant child. How dare he treat me like that? "I’m not a child."
"I've never treated you like one." He raises his hands. "Look, clearly, I'm not good with words when it comes to you?—"
"That’s putting it mildly."
He shuffles his feet. "I… I admit I made a few mistakes?—"
"A few?"
"Okay, a lot of mistakes when it came to us, and I want to put them right."
If he’d said that ten minutes ago, I’d have jumped into his arms.
That was before I saw him with her.
"Who is she?" I burst out. "Why was she touching you?"
He sighs. "If you look at me, I can explain."
"I'm sure you can. You have a rationalization for everything."
"Because I didn’t do anything wrong."
I scoff, "So, why do you look so guilty?"
"How do you know that, when you refuse to look at me?"
Goddamn, I hate it when he manages to turn every argument in his favor.
"Raven, look at me," he growls. The command in his voice sends a shiver down my spine. His presence is so big, so solid, so alluring. I find myself leaning in toward him and stop myself. Damn, why is it that I find it so difficult to disobey him? I take a few steps back, until my back hits the elevator wall.
"Raven." His tone holds a warning.
I so badly want to raise my middle finger at him, but that’d only bring our age difference into focus. The fact that he’s twenty-six years older than me has never felt vaster.
The seconds tick by. Come on, come on. Only two more floors to go until we hit the first, and then— Then he moves. He slaps his big palm on the panel, and the elevator shudders to a stop.
"What the hell?" I yell. "Why did you do that?"
I meet his gaze, and… Big mistake, for the impact is like having the Tundra dump its snow on me. A chill envelops me. I’m covered in ice, without any warm clothes to shield me from the elements. My stomach bottoms out, my pulse rate seems to slow. Heat flushes my spine, and the combination of so many contradictory sensations makes me wrap my arms about myself. It’s a protective gesture, one he registers, for his jaw firms. A muscle tics at his temple. He holds up his hands.
"Please… listen to me, baby."
"Don’t…" I shake my head. "Don’t call me that—not now."