Angrily using the back of my hand to swipe at my tears. I hate that I’m crying over him. I swore I wouldn’t do that again. He doesn’t deserve my tears. That thought manages to make me feel guilty because it’s not Dom’s fault that he’s hurting me. He made that clear two years ago when I confessed my feelings to him.
Flashback
“Crap, Thea. Shit, I’m sorry I forgot your birthday. I’ve been out working with Dad and the guys. I even missed your party.”
I look up at Dom, smiling at the sweet look on his face. When his lips move into a matching smile, I feel warm all over.
“You don’t have to get me anything,” I murmur, and I can feel my face heating in a blush.
“I do. It’s not every day you turn fifteen. What would you like? I could give you money to buy that perfume you like. The kind that smells like wildflowers after the rain.”
My heart stutters when I realize Dom knows what my favorite perfume smells like. It may not seem that big, but somehow it is to me. I smile up at him, but shake my head no. “Nah, Thomas bought me some of it as a present.”
“Fuck. See? I’m even shown up by my brother.”
“Well, Thomas is my best friend,” I laugh. “If he forgot my birthday, I’d never speak to him again.”
“We’re friends.”
“Yeah, but I we don’t talk a lot. Mattie is your best friend. You never forget his, even if he doesn’t like to celebrate his birthday.”
“True. He also hates being called Mattie. I think you’re the only one who can get away with it. Even Skylar calls him Breaker.”
I laugh, thinking of my younger sister. “Yeah, that’s because my sister kisses up to him. He’s wrapped around her finger, and she knows it.”
“I think he’s starting to realize it. Her last temper tantrum didn’t exactly go her way.”
“I heard,” I mutter, trying to conceal my joy at the fact. It’s not that I don’t love Skylar, I do. It’s just that she needs to stop relying on others to do everything for her.
“Okay, so what can I get for your birthday? There has to be something you haven’t received yet,” Dom says.
My heartbeat speeds up and my entire body flushes with a mixture of embarrassment and want. I know what I want. I’m just not sure I’m brave enough to ask for it. “Um …”
“Thea?”
The concern in his voice is my undoing. Dom has always been so sweet to me.Yet I know he only sees me as a younger sister. He thinks because that’s what I am to Mattie, that’s what I should be to him, too. That’s not what I want, though. Not from Dom …
“I …”
“What is it, Thea?” he asks, when I can’t manage to get the words out again. He brings his hand up, sliding a couple of fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“I want you to kiss me, Dom. I want you to be my first kiss.”
It takes so much courage to admit that, but I am sure that Dom feels something for me too. He is always so sweet, so caring. Sure, I know he and Gabby like each other. That has to be cooling down, though. I’ve seen her hanging around Thomas out in town, and she hasn’t been around the clubhouse in months. This is my opportunity. I might be a little younger than Dom, but I am old enough to kiss.
“Thea, I can’t do that.”
I blink as all my hopes and dreams come crashing around me, like ash from a house engulfed in flames.
“It’s okay, Dom. I want you to kiss me. No one has to know. I like you and I know you like me.”
“I do like you, Thea?—”
“See, we can?—”
“But not like that.”
It is only four words, but they stab through me like a dull butcher knife, leaving deep, jagged incisions to my heart in their wake.