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"Me too. I hate crying."
"I fucking hate seeing you cry," he grumbles. "Being the one who made you cry makes me feel like the biggest asshole. You're too beautiful to cry over me, baby."
"It's okay," I mumble.
"It's not okay."
He's right, so I don't argue with him.
"Do you really want me to come with you?" I can't help but ask again. He was so pissed off this morning; it's going to take a minute for me to wrap my head around his change of heart.
"Yes." His soft sigh sends pieces of my hair wafting around at the back of my head. His arms tighten around me before loosening again. "The thought of you anywhere near the people I deal with scares the fuck out of me, Mila. I don't like the guy I have to be when I deal with that shit. I feel fucking selfish for wanting you with me when I know what you're walking into and you don't. I've never been in love before. This is all new to me. It's going to take time to wrap my mind around it. That's what this morning was about. It had nothing to do with me not wanting you, got it?"
"Got it," I mumble, yawning.
"You should sleep." He lets me go long enough to pull the blankets up over me, making sure I'm tucked in before he gently pulls me back into his chest. "We can talk about this shit later."
"Will you stay with me?" I ask. My eyes feel too heavy to hold them open any longer, but I don't want to let him go.
"I'm not going anywhere, baby," he promises, heat in his voice.
"Thank you," I mumble, and then I'm out.
Chapter Sixteen
Mila
"Are you sure you're okay?" Tahani asks me, worry evident in her voice.
Even though she's hours away, I can just imagine her standing there with her hand on her hip, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she stares at me, scrutinizing me to make sure I'm telling her the truth. She's tiny compared to her father, but they're so much alike. They both like to hover and fuss.
It's been two days since I fell down the stairs, and Roman is honestly starting to drive me a little crazy. He won't let me do anything for myself. As soon as I move, he's right there, trying to do everything for me. It's really sweet, but I'm not used to being taken care of. I'm not used to needing help. It's making me cranky.
I'm also unbelievably horny. He's constantly touching and kissing me, but he won't give me any relief. I'm ready to explode, and I know he is too.
"I'm okay," I tell Tahani, flipping aimlessly through TV channels. There's nothing to watch, and I'm bored out of my mind. Roman finally left me in peace to go pick us up Chinese for lunch. Now that he's not here, though, I miss him. I've gotten so used to him being in my space that it feels strange when he isn't.
"I'm really glad my dad was there when you fell," Tahani says.
"Me too," I murmur, trying to ignore the guilt her comment sends washing through me. I'm in love with my best friend's father. How do you even start a conversation like that? I don't know, so I just pretend everything is fine when she calls. I hate lying to her, but I also hate the thought of her hating me. And I'm terrified she will hate me when she finds out the truth.
"Is he being nice to you?" she demands. "I know he can be a big bear sometimes."
"He's been fine," I whisper.
"Something's going on with him."
My heart sinks, fear pumping through me. "W-what do you mean?"
"He's acting strange. He won't tell me why he's there, but I know something is wrong. He never leaves in the middle of a case. Every time I ask him what's going on, he just says everything is fine, fine, fine." She sounds exasperated and scared at the same time. "I know he doesn't like to tell me about his job, but I'm worried about him, Mila."
"I think he's okay," I say, treading carefully so I don't say too much. I understand why he doesn't tell her anything about his job…it's scary and dangerous…but Tahani's as perceptive as he is. She knows when something's wrong. I can't tell her that he's hiding out here because he had to kill someone, though. She's his daughter, and he wants to protect her. It's not my place to take that choice away from him. "He seems fine. Maybe he just needed a break."
God, I hate lying to her.
I'm not very good at it, and I don't think she believes me, but she doesn't push anymore.
"Yeah, maybe," she sighs instead. "I gotta go. Tell him hi and that I love him."
