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"It's time to go, sweetheart," Roman whispers into my hair.
I cling to him for a long moment, fighting back another wave of tears. Once I'm sure I'm not going to cry again, I take a deep breath and nod. "I love you, Roman," I whisper against his skin. "Please be careful."
"Always, baby," he promises me.
"Holy shit, Mila," Missy breathes into the phone. "I can't believe someone set your house on fire."
"Me neither," I mumble, staring up at the ceiling of my hotel room in Sacramento. The king suite is massive. The bed dominates the bedroom, taking up most of the space. The whirlpool tub is big enough to swim in. And the seating area just outside the bedroom comes complete with a mini kitchen. The bright, hideous carpet makes me feel like I'm staring at an abstract painting.
It's been exactly ten hours and twenty-seven minutes since Roman tucked me into Octavio Hernandez's squad car and sent me out of town. I haven't been to sleep yet. I'm exhausted, but every time I close my eyes, I start thinking about Roman or about trying to crawl out of the house with flames surrounding me.
He thinks we lost connection inside the house, but that's not exactly true. When I made it downstairs and saw how bad the fire really was, I hung up the phone. I didn't want him to hear me if I didn't make it out, and I didn't think I would make it out.
Everything in the living room was tossed around and covered in gasoline. The stench was overpowering, and the smoke was choking the air from my lungs. I could barely see, barely breathe. The fire burned so hot that I thought my skin was going to melt from my bones as I ran down the stairs and toward the front door, zig-zagging to outrun the flames.
It's going to be a long time before I forget how that felt.
There are two Sacramento police officers stationed outside my hotel room door, babysitting me. Officer Declan Carter and Officer Jeffrey Benson are both gorgeous and nearly as massive as Roman, and neither says very much. An hour ago, Officer Benson brought me a phone since mine didn't survive the fire. He also brought me a T-shirt and a pair of sweats to change into, and a breakfast sandwich.
I only managed to eat half of it. I'm not very hungry.
All I can think about is Roman and the fact that I haven't heard from him yet. I'm terrified that he's gotten himself hurt. If the officers outside know anything, they aren't sharing the news with me. I know they're here to protect me, but I feel a little bit like a prisoner. I can't leave this room without them. I can't even tell Missy where I'm at or when I'll be able to return. Until Roman says otherwise, no one can know where I'm hiding.
I've never felt so alone in my life.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks me.
"Yeah," I whisper the lie. "I'm okay. How mad is Kelli?"
I'm a little concerned she's going to fire me, but I can't even worry about that right now. Not with so much else to deal with. Roman is in LA, doing God knows what. I'm pregnant, and I don't know if the baby will be okay. For the second time in two months, I'm homeless. I don't know how much, if any, of our belongings are salvageable.
If someone told me that Roman and the baby would be okay, I'd give up every single one of them.
Please, let them be okay.
"She's worried about you. Everyone is," Missy says. "Don't even worry about work right now. We'll be here when you're able to come back." She pauses for a brief second. "I can't believe your boyfriend is a federal agent, and a cartel is targeting him. That's insane."
"I know," I mumble, unsure if I should have kept that tidbit to myself, but I had to tell Kelli something when I called her last night to explain that I wouldn't be able to return to work for a while. I gave her as much of the truth as I could. With Roman's cover already blown, I figured trying to protect it now was a moot point.
"Just take care of yourself," Missy says. "And be safe, okay? I'm worried about you."
"I will," I promise her.
"Call me when you can," she orders me.
"I will. Bye, Missy."
"Bye, Mila."
I hang up the phone and drop it onto the bed beside me before rolling onto my right side. My left arm hurts where I burned it, but it's not bad. It could have been a lot worse. Had I not jumped away from the falling beam when I did, I would have been trapped beneath it. Instead, a few embers landed on my arm, and I managed to run out the front door into the fresh air.
My stomach rolls, and another wave of nausea twists through me, though I'm not sure if it's anxiety or because I'm pregnant.
I immediately place my hand over my lower belly, my heart fluttering at the reminder. There's a little life growing inside of me—one we made. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that fact. I'm excited and scared out of my mind, and I really just want Roman to hold me. I need him to tell me again that everything is going to be okay.
My eyes drift closed, but sleep doesn't come. Eventually, I give up and turn on the television.
I'm still clicking through channels when someone taps on the door a few minutes later, making me jump. My heart rate immediately increases, even though, rationally, I know I'm safe here. There's no way anyone knows where I'm hiding. And even if they did, there's no way they would get past the two officers guarding my door without making a hell of a lot of noise.
