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Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mila
"You can't just send me to Sacramento, Roman!" I yell, slamming my hands down on my hips to glare at him from across the hospital room I've been trapped in for the last four hours.
"I'll be outside." Officer Livingston wisely slips outside, pulling the door closed behind him. I should probably feel bad for yelling at Roman with him standing right there, but at this point, I don't care who hears me.
"Baby, you gotta go." Roman plants his feet apart as he stares at me, sounding far too calm and reasonable. He's been through hell today, and it shows. His eyes are shadowed and bruised beneath from lack of sleep. Soot, grime, and blood splatter from where he broke that officer's nose stain his clothes. The sight tugs at my heart, but I refuse to let it sway me. I know exactly why he wants me out of the city, and I'm not going.
"No," I tell him, refusing to budge. "I'm not going."
"Mila," he says, his voice soft and his expression even softer as paces toward me.
I back up, trying to keep him from getting his hands on me because I know I'll cave and give him whatever he wants as soon as he touches me. When he has his hands on my body, I can't deny him anything, no matter how hard I try. And I have every intention of denying him this.
I'm not leaving so he can go on a rampage and get himself killed. I see the rage swirling in his eyes when he thinks I'm not looking. I see the way Livingston watches him, as if he's here to keep him from doing something stupid, even though they told me that he's here to help keep me safe.
I saw Roman flinging those officers around like they were inconsequential toy soldiers when he thought I was still in the house. If Finn hadn't been there, I don't think the entire Los Angeles Police Department would have been able to keep him from going inside. He would have taken them on one by one until they had to shoot him or let him run inside. He was out of control, raging like a demon, and they would have had to kill him to stop him.
I'm terrified there won't be anyone to stop him this time. If I leave, he'll go after Guerrero, and he'll die.
"I'm not going," I repeat.
He stalks me until I'm pressed up against the wall with nowhere else to go. As he saunters toward me, his eyes heat and darken, turning that predatory hazel color that lets me know he wants me, even in the midst of this disaster. He cages me in before I can dart away from him, one hand on either side of my head to keep me trapped where he wants me. His body presses into mine, searing me in one long line.
I grit my teeth and clench my hands into fists, refusing to give in to the desire threatening to consume me.
"You gotta go." His breath washes across my face, his chest rumbling against my breasts as he crowds me even deeper into the wall. "Being here isn't safe for you right now."
"I'm not leaving you here."
"You are leaving me here." He presses his forehead to mine and splays his hand across my abdomen, which instantly makes tears spring to my eyes. "You're pregnant, Mila. You gotta go."
"That's why I can't go," I whisper, sniffling when tears start slipping down my cheeks. "If I go, you'll do something stupid, and I'll never see you again." The thought of never seeing him again is like acid burning through me. It fucking hurts. I can't lose him. I won't survive it.
"Baby," he says softly, pulling me into his arms when a sob gets caught in my throat, choking me.
I don't want to hug him right now. I want to be mad and yell at him and demand that he come with me to Sacramento and let someone else be the hero for once in his life, but when his arms are around me, his heart hammering against my ear, I cling to him anyway.
"We need you," I cry into his shoulder. "I can't raise a baby without you." I don't even know if the baby is okay. All the doctor could tell us was that it was too early to tell if being inside the fire harmed the baby at all and that I was not far enough along for them to make any promises but that everything looked okay.
If I lose Roman and something happens to our baby…what am I going to do? How am I supposed to survive losing them both?
"Mila, calm down," he murmurs, lifting me up in his arms and then sliding down the wall until he's on his ass on the floor, and I'm curled up on his lap, completely surrounded by him again. He holds me tightly, rocking me back and forth in his arms and whispering to me.
I cling to him and cry until my head hurts and there aren't any tears left. I'm overwhelmed and scared and so fucking tired. I let it all out, purging myself of the last fourteen hours of my life. When I fall silent in his arms, he tips my face back with gentle hands and swipes beneath my eyes. The emotion in his hazel eyes takes my breath away.
It's fierce and hot but so fucking gentle at the same time.
"Promise me," I plead, clenching my hands into his shirt until my fingers ache in protest. "Promise me that you're not going to do something stupid. I need you, Roman. If something happens to you…if I lose you…" My voice trails off, ending when a pained whimper climbs up my throat. I press myself closer to him, trying to crawl inside him so he can't leave me.
"I swear to you," he whispers, holding me just as tightly, crushing me to his chest. "I'm not going to let anything happen to me, baby. Nothing will take me away from you, our baby, or Tahani, I promise you that." The iron in his voice and his lips on my crown seal his promise to me…but I still don't want to let him go.
Until today, the dangers of his job weren't real to me. I didn't really understand violence because it's never been a part of my life. But I get it now. Trying to crawl out of that fire, terrified out of my mind, I understood completely what he's been so afraid of for so long.
There are terrible people in this world. They murder and terrorize and destroy and take just because they think they can. And people like Roman—the warriors and the cops and the good guys of the world—hold the line, defending and protecting us because someone has to do it. Because guys like Guerrero don't deserve to win.
I don't want Roman to go, but this is who he is. This is what he does…and I didn't just fall for part of him. I fell for every part of him.
