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As Coop and Beau chatter on without us, we both move inside and as soon as we enter the kitchen, Max stops walking. He turns to face me, and I suddenly feel so fucking nervous.
“How are you, really?” he asks, and I shrug, folding my arms across my chest.
“Good. Coop takes good care of me, surprisingly.”
Max’s eyebrows rise and he lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, that is surprising. But like I said, you really do look happy, more relaxed.”
“Yeah, I am. I’m closer to work, so I’ve had a shorter commute. I get to sleep in.”
“Yeah, in a really nice place too. Like the view is amazing. Not many people get to live like this, even for a short time.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Max leans against the counter and grins at me. “Also, bro, you have a hickey on your neck.”
My hand flies up to the mark that Coop left on me, and I curse under my breath. “That fucker.”
But really, it’s me who forgot about it, who just let it sit there on my skin, a mark of who I belong to.
“So, you and Coop, huh?”
I sigh and let my shoulders slump, shame and embarrassment surging through me. “God, Max. Fuck. I’m such an asshole.” My voice cracks, and I rub at my eyes. “The way I acted with you and Beau. The things I said to Magnus all those years ago.”
“I know,” he says and reaches out, patting me on the shoulder. “I was an asshole too, remember?”
I sniffle and nod. “We all were. Jesus, the fact that Magnus even talks to us…”
Max nods, understanding what I’m trying to say.
“Yeah, he’s a better man than I’ll ever be, but we’re trying. You know? That’s all we can do is try to be better.”
I nod and swallow roughly. “But you are better. You’re married to a dude.”
“And so are you.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t willingly. This is going to end eventually.”
Max cocks his head and watches me intently. “Does it have to? If you’re happy, do you really need to end it?”
I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, but I don’t say it. Just let those words ring in my head.
“And listen, I hope you know it’s okay. What you and Coop are doing. It’s normal. It’s beautiful, really.”
My eyes water some more. Damn dust in the room.
“Yeah, I know,” I reply, peeking up at him. “Magnus told me the same thing, but it’s nice to hear you say it too. To have your reassurance.”
Max runs a hand across his jaw, deep in thought. “Do you want to talk about it? I’ve been there. Done that. I know it’s confusing as fuck…”
I feel my cheeks flush, and I duck my head slightly. “I dunno. It’s just different with him.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“Is the…you know, is it just as good?” God, I can’t believe I just asked that. What the hell am I doing?
Max hesitates a moment and then nods. “Yeah, definitely different but I’ve found it better. Especially when you love the person you’re with.”
My eyes flash to his. “I don’t love him, Max. That’s not what this is.”
