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I shrug. “Maybe she fears for her life. Or she’s curious about a dragonspirit child,” I offer the only explanation I’ve arrived at. “She is, after all, a scientist of bones. Maybe she’ll study our children.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Felix snorts. “Have you considered that she might actually like you?”
“Like me?” I scoff, rolling my eyes as I reach for the coffee on the table. “There’s no way she likes me. On the contrary, I suspect she might hate me. She didn’t even answer a simple question.”
As unbelievable as it is, here I am, sipping on my coffee and listening to Felix’s advice. I’d distinctly told him I didn’t need any advice when my mate was revealed to me. I’ve come a long way since then, and a lot has happened.
At the same time, I feel like I’m stuck. Stagnant, in a vortex of my own misconstrued beliefs.
If only I hadn’t carved into the stone of Yazmine’s mind that she is nothing but a measly human in my eyes, I would have been able to speak freely to her now. It’s been a week since my question has gone unanswered, and I suspect she wants to leave.
I won’t stop her, even if I can’t accept this kind of defeat. After all, I’m not deserving of her.
“She didn’t answer your question ‘cause it might have surprised her,” Felix offers. “Think about it. You haven’t told her what you just told me.”
“I haven’t told anyone,” I chuckle nervously. “No one knows about Delilah.”
My brother raises a skeptical brow. “Do you plan on keeping it a secret from Yazmine?”
“Yes—No—I don’t know.”
“It’s simple, really. Just tell her, and let her in, brother.”
I shake my head, unconvinced that it’ll work. “I don’t know if she’ll understand. Or if she cares to understand. This isn’t some fairytale like Draco and Lily, unfortunately.”
“It’s what you make of it, brother.”
I haven’t made any sense of it, but that’s for sure. It was much less complicated before my feelings got entangled. I wish it could go back there before I dropped my guard and allowed myself to feel anything.
Maybe it was just an experiment on my part. Everyone had been telling me how much I changed since I came back. Perhaps this was my way of finding myself again; I try defending myself mentally as I absentmindedly touched the pendant that I now wear around my neck. Yazmine’s pendant—the one she’d gifted me on my birthday. It’s a reminder that I’d lost myself and my passions, when I lost Delilah.
It wasn’t she who abandoned me. I ended up abandoning myself. Poor Yazmine had to bear the brunt of that hurt, all while being the only reason I was able to find the pieces of me again.
“I’m sticking to my initial decision,” I relent, knowing Yazmine’s worth and feeling totally unworthy of her. I have to let her go. I sniff, my emotions getting the best of me again. “Once she’s given me children, she’s to leave the island.”
Felix’s brow lifts suspiciously. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“It’s what she’ll want.”
***
Pacing my bedroom floor, I contemplate visiting Yazmine’s room tonight. I haven’t seen her in a week and don’t feel like going there just to use her body.
It just doesn’t feel right. I just can't do it, especially since she considers herself a concubine.
I don’t just consider her my mate for the purpose of producing children. Yet, she seems to have accepted her fate. It’s why I can’t face her—I know she’s worth so much more.
For that very reason, I steeled my resolve and decided to visit her bedroom. Not to satisfy baser urges, but to talk. Like we should have done a while ago.
I knock on her door, but there’s no reply. Perhaps she’s upset that I’ve been avoiding her. That gives me some hope—at least she cares enough to be angry.
When I knock a second time and hear nothing back, I take a deep breath before opening the door. I frown when I’m met by darkness.
It’s not late enough for her to be asleep, and the bathroom is in darkness, too.
“Yaz?” I call out, my voice bouncing off the walls and echoing back to me. That’s when panic begins to set in, spurring urgent steps toward the balcony.
She’s not there either.
