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My breath comes in short, quick pants as I try to regain control.
We kissed—she kissed me—and it snapped my resolve. It was too much. Too sweet. Too pure. Too everything. In one fleeting moment, she built me up and demolished me all at once.
Kenisius is wrong, I can’t control myself around her. Even without the scent of blood—which pushed me over the edge—it was too much.
She has become a part of me. And she wants me, too. But we cannot have each other the way we desire.
I fist my hair with both hands, battling the darkness inside of me. What a fool I was to think I could have Alessia to myself. We’re destined to ruin each other. The only way I can have her is in my dreams, and that’s not fair to her.
She deserves more.
How could fate be so cruel to us?
How could I be given the most precious gift, only to doom her?
The floorboards creak beneath me as I pace. The revelers celebrate in the yard below. They’re filled with carefree joy, lust, pleasure. They have no cares in the world. Part of me wishes I could join them, find the freedom Alessia thinks I have, but the other part of me knows I never can.
She needs to leave—get as far away from me as she can. Thank the gods she left when she did.
I could’ve hurt her.
I could’ve killed her.
“Bloody hell!”
It’s too hot in here.
My veins crawl beneath my skin, like hundreds of live worms trying to dig their way out. and I’m hungry… so hungry.
The scent of her lingers. I move to the window, cracking it to let the air in, hoping it’ll wash her delicious smell away. It drives me insane. Sucking in big inhales of air does nothing to quell the burn in my lungs.
Music from the festivities below filter in through the open window, carrying with it laughter and whoops of joy. Alessia deserves to be down there. She deserves to enjoy everything Avylon has to offer. And here in the Umbra Court isn’t the place for her.
Maybe she would be better off with the Terra Prince. She’d be safe there. As much as I dislike Eoin, he isn’t plagued by the curses I am.
And fate has reassured me that even though I can’t be with her, he can never fully be with her either. Alessia and I are no good for one another, but we belong to each other.
Whether she knows it or not.
I am hers.
A guttural noise rips from my lungs and I grip the doorframe, refusing to leave until she’s long gone.
After another minute passes, I sniff the air, grateful to discover Alessia is no longer lingering in the hall.
Thank gods.
I’m on the verge of combusting.
Yanking open the door, I fly from the room to locate Fern. As much as I hate it, she can curb my needs.
Without her, I would succumb to the violence inside of me. I would devastate.
Like I’ve done before.
Annihilate the people I love.
thirty-two
