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“Yes I—I am, actually.”
“Maybe I can help?”
I shake my head and dart off again, leaving him behind a second time.
I have to relieve my bladder anyways, so I head inside to my chambers. I figure it’ll be a good starting place to search for Rainer. I’m borderline obsessed with finding him. I tell myself that it’s because of our unfinished conversation last week, but part of me knows that’s just an excuse.
There’s the tense moments when we’re alone, the desire I have for him, the connections in the dreamscape—which, now that I’ve had time to sit on it, I’m no longer angry about. I’d wished for Rainer from my dreams to be real…and he is.
I can’t be mad at how it happened. It happened, and for that, I’m grateful.
Everyone sees the Prince of Fear—a cruel, angry male. And for a minute, when he used his fearcaller power on me, I saw that too. But now I see a broken little boy who grew into a heartbroken male. A male who shoulders too much trauma on his own.
Char once told me “all broken things heal, and broken girls heal into indestructible women,” but what do broken little princes heal into?
After I do my business and clean up, I leave my chambers. Sconces in the hallway light my path as I head back toward the stairs. Just as I make it to the top of the stairwell, a figure steps out in front of me and I plow into them.
I grunt, stumbling backward. A hand flashes out to steady me, and I find myself staring up at Rainer’s scowling face.
“There you are,” I say awkwardly. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Yes. Looking very hard indeed…though I don’t think you’ll find me in a set of Terra eyes.”
My brows shoot up. “Are you jealous of Eoin?”
His jaw clenches but he says nothing.
“I’m not interested in him.”
“Well, he’s taken an interest in you.”
“Is that really so bad?” I ask. I’m pushing his buttons now, just a little, but I can’t help it. He really has no clue that it’s him I’m drawn to. Him I’ve been seeking out tonight. Him I’m dressed for.
His little display of jealousy makes me feel like he might even feel the same way. It at least shows me that he feels something.
“No,” he answers. “I can’t blame him.”
Rainer runs a hand through his shaggy hair, avoiding eye contact. I try not to stare at his beautiful face, or his broad chest. His eyes roam over my dress. He sucks in a sharp inhale and his eyes soften. It’s as if he’s seeing me for the first time tonight. Truly seeing me. He rubs a hand over his jaw, his mouth agape.
“You look—wow. You look radiant, mo róisín.”
My skin warms under his gaze and I duck my chin.
“I got your rose,” I whisper. “Is that your way of showing appreciation?”
He licks his lips, removing his gaze from mine. “It’s—I’m not the best with words. Or…feelings.”
“Understandable.”
“There are much more important things we need to discuss, though,” he says.
“I agree.”
I need answers about the dreamwalking and the shadows that call to me. And I’d appreciate answers about his attitude toward me. Something tells me they’re not as disconnected as they might first seem.
Voices float up the stairs.
“Not here.”
