AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why don’t Logan and Neverra have any children? I know celestials can.”
He was quiet for a moment as we skated. We took another pass around the rink before he spoke. “There was a procedure on Rashearim. Most males, especially those in power, got it to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Many didn’t want heirs from their consorts, and even more, were waiting for their mark before having children. It’s reversible if you wish, but most don’t.”
“Oh. I’m assuming you did it too?”
Samkiel chuckled. “Why do you ask? Ulterior motives?”
“No.” I shrugged, feigning innocence. “Call me curious.”
“Yes, I had it done, too. Logan and I both had it done after a… umm… scare.”
I couldn’t hide the coil of jealousy that wrapped around me. I whipped my head toward him, but it only made him laugh.
“Like I stated—a scare.”
“Oh, so there are no tiny Samkiels running around the universe that you may not know about?”
“No.” He glanced at me warily, and I braced myself. “I had many consorts, and I did not want any more scares during my free time. Also, most wished to bed me for an heir, and I did not want that either. My father might have wished that for me, but after I witnessed what became of my mother with my birth, I would not damn another to that fate, especially one I wished to share life with. I don’t care if it would have benefited the realms. That’s too steep a price.”
My heart ached for him, even if I didn’t enjoy hearing about his consorts. It was nearly as bad as reliving his blooddreams.
“You really are a knight in shining armor, aren’t you?”
He scowled. “What is that?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, obviously not believing me.
“What about you? Do you want children?”
I thought about it, and my heart clenched. “Maybe before, but I’d never damn a child to a life with me.”
I felt his eyes rake over me. “I know you don’t see it, but I don’t think anyone would consider themselves damned with you.”
I didn’t refute him, but I felt the opposite. Children meant home and family, and I’d given up on that long ago. If I let myself dream, I could imagine children and a husband, but I’d never want to burden anyone with me. Even if he said the opposite, I knew the truth. I hurt everyone I cared about, and I would never do that to my babies.
We swayed side by side, our hands clasped as we slid smoothly over the ice.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said. His voice shook away the thoughts that plagued me.
“You didn’t. Pinky promise.” I gave him a forced smile.
“Then what are you thinking about? You disappear sometimes.”
“Do I?”
He nodded. “Sometimes you retreat so far in your head I’m afraid I can’t reach you.”
I was an open book to him, and he read every page I learned. I couldn’t throw my words like acid to burn him; he merely brushed them off. I couldn’t hide behind my anger and hate because he knew better. He always did. His words softened an unruly beast in me, soothing its thrashing body back to sleep. He had no idea how utterly and completely wrong he was. He always reached me, which was the problem and another reason among many why I left when Gabby died. Samkiel could drag me out of my pain and misery, and he would help and be there for me when all I wanted was vengeance and blood. I didn’t want his help then, didn’t want him to reach me, but now? Now I thought I was ready.
“Sorry, I’m hungry.” I squeezed his hand in reassurance to let him know it wasn’t completely a lie.
“Mm-hmm,” he said, allowing me to change the subject again. “I don’t know anything nearby that would still be open.” He was right. It was well past closing time for the rink, and since we were trying to avoid being seen publicly, our options were limited.
I caught sight of a gray van half-hidden behind the trees, and I pulled us to a stop, the ice crunching beneath our blades.
A mischievous grin lit up my face. “I have an idea.”
