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“Another pretty lake off the beaten path?” I slipped my hand into his, the warm calluses scraping against my palm, sending a bolt of electricity straight through me. The simple contact made both of us falter. I looked up into his devastatingly beautiful face. He focused on me, the heat of his power winding around us, touching me with soft feathery caresses. I had missed this so much, missed him.
He tightened his hand on mine and spun me, wrapping his arm across my front and pulling me back against his chest. I froze, the sound finally registering. The ocean stretched to the horizon, where it touched the sky. Sun-kissed waves crashed against the shore in a rhythmic pulse, sounding like the planet’s heartbeat. Sand rose in small dunes on an untouched beach. My world tilted, tossing me back. I stood on that cliff again, the remnants of her fitting into a jar. All she was and ever had been in my hands and then spread across the world as I emptied it into the ocean, sending her remains into the wind.
No.
Pain radiated from my core, and nausea rose. My chest heaved, and my breathing turned ragged.
No.
Agony, pure and blinding, ripped through my head. Tears filled my eyes, his arms the only thing holding me up.
“No!”
I wrenched myself out of his arms and spun away from the ocean, running from the sound of the waves that felt like acid across my nerves.
“Dianna!” Samkiel called after me.
“No, I am not doing this.”
He appeared in front of me, his eyes scanning mine wildly as he held me at arm’s length. “I see you. Every single part. I see the part of you that you are trying to bury along with her.”
I slapped at his hands as hard as I could. “You see nothing,” I hissed, wishing I had more power and venom to throw at him. Without my powers, I was like a moth threatening a hawk. “You know, for a second, you had me. I’ll admit that. You say things and make me feel. The flirting and the listening, you’re good. Gods, you’re good. Was that your plan all along? To make me a miserable, lonely mess so that when you showed up, I’d suddenly talk?”
“What? No. I am trying to help you, but you must also work with me. Dianna, I have never met or heard of a god or goddess, let alone any other powerful being, suppressing their powers as thoroughly as you have. I don’t know the consequences of them returning or how violently they will, but we have to try. We have—”
“We don’t have to do anything.” I jerked at my arms, trying to get him to release me. He held me with ease, which was only fuel on the fire of my rage. I pushed so hard I probably would have twisted my arm off. I’d heard stories of wild animals chewing through their flesh to break free, and I was tempted at this point. “Let. Me. Go.”
He did.
I turned away from him, uncaring of the direction. All I cared about was getting away from here, escaping the pain and memories. Every crash of the ocean against the shore battered at the place I’d hidden away the memories of her. It was physically painful and threatened to swallow me whole.
“Running away from what you feel solves nothing.” He called out.
“Oh, and you would know, wouldn’t you?” I spat and spun around, kicking a flurry of sand at him.
“Yes, yes, I would.”
“Why are you doing this? Are you really trying to help me get my powers back? Do you really want to help me, or are you just that desperate to fuck me?”
“No!” he snapped. “Gods, Dianna, why is it so hard for you to believe that someone just genuinely cares about you?”
“Because they don’t!” I shouted, my voice breaking. “They don’t. I have lived a thousand years as someone’s weapon, someone’s thing. Everyone wants something from me, and the only person in the whole world who didn’t is dead!”
My chest heaved, a dam threatening to break tenfold. There it was—the brutal, agonizing truth.
“You’re wrong.” His voice was like cold, hard steel. “She was not the only one. But you are also right that I do want something from you. I want you to be happy, healthy, and alive. I want the best for you because gods know you deserve it after every fucking thing you’ve been through. One day I want you to smile again, really smile. I want to help you heal as you helped me.”
My eyes burned this time, emotions crashing through me, mocking my anger. Samkiel’s words, my feelings, her death, memories of her, and my pain threatened to overwhelm me. My face crumpled, tears sliding down my face. I didn’t see him move, but Samkiel was suddenly before me, cupping my face and wiping away every single one.
“You knew about the ocean. You knew because I told you everything, and you brought me here, anyway.”
“I know,” he whispered, “and that’s why I did.”
I pushed at that ridiculously muscled chest. The impact hurt my wrists but didn’t budge him. “How could you?”
“Because I will not have you hate a memory so precious to you as my father did.”
Shock made me pause, my tears drying up as I stared up at him. “What?”
