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“Dianna,” she said, shaking her head and reaching out to me.
I held my hand up. “If that’s all you needed to tell me, you can leave now.”
I didn’t mean to be so damn cold and mean, but I couldn’t contain the broken creature in me that sought only to protect the last pieces of my heart and soul.
She straightened her shoulders, glancing toward the open window. She wiped her sleeve across her face, removing the few tears that wet her cheeks. “I do need to get back before Logan comes looking for me, but I just wanted you to know, and I wanted to give you this.”
Her hand dipped into a pocket, and she pulled out a crumpled piece of folded paper. She held it out to me but didn’t step any closer.
I took a deep breath, and with a trembling hand, I reached for it. “What is this?”
“Gabby gave it to me in Yejedin. I think she wrote it a while ago and just kept it with her. She told me to give it to you. I never looked at it. Just hid it until I could get free and get back.”
My whole body shook.
“I am truly sorry, Dianna. For your loss, for everything.”
With a pop of blue light, she left the room. I stood there alone, staring at the worn note. My heart raced. Gabby had written it, kept it. The paper trembled violently as I opened it, the noise the only sound in the room except for the quick gasp of my breath. My vision blurred, obscuring her familiar handwriting.
Dearest Sister,
Okay, I wanted it to be formal, but that sounds silly saying it out loud. Anyway, I think we both know why I am writing this. It is way too late at night because I can’t sleep. To be honest, I haven’t slept much since you’ve been gone, kind of like the nights you used to sneak out when we shared a room in Eoria. I would cover for you, and you would always bring me back those small sweet cakes. I would always wait up for you. Only this time, you haven’t come back yet. It’s been months, and I miss you. I was so scared then that something would happen and you wouldn’t come back. It is the same now, but worse. I can’t explain it, but I have a feeling that I may never talk to you or see you again.
Listen, I know you’re strong and brave and everything, but if something happens, if you do read this note, and I am no longer here, I need you to be stronger. I need you to be brave and fierce, and above all else, I need you to let me go. I know you’ll be sad, and I’m crying while writing this, but Dianna, you are so powerful and smart. There isn’t anything you can’t do, and nothing can stop you. There never was.
You’re my sister, and I love you. I’ll always love you. A part of me wishes we could have had the life we always talked about. Just know that no matter what happens, you gave me the best life. You never stuck me with a horrible one. And hey, being here with Logan, Neverra, and the other celestials isn’t bad. I like them, and I think you would too if you gave them a chance.
For the first time since Eoria, I feel like I have a home and a family. I have fun, but I had the most fun with you, no matter what you think. You showed me the world, and I loved, oh gods, did I love. I want that for you, even though you feel you don’t deserve it. It is worth it, Dianna. Don’t refute what you need because you fear the pain it could bring. Never let fear rule you. Don’t let what Kaden did, rob you of something special.
Dianna, you are loved. You always have been and always will be. I see it even if you don’t, but more than that, you have so much love to give. I think that is where that fire comes from inside of you. You are passion and anger, and above all, pure love. You protected me, loved me, and cared for me my entire life. Because of you, I never knew a day that I was not loved.
You have more stress and weight on your shoulders than anyone I know, and for my part in that, I’m sorry. Promise me one thing. If you happen to find love after I’m gone, you won’t let it go. Life is more than fighting and surviving. You’ve done enough of that. There is so much out there, and I want you to experience it all. I want you to laugh again, to love, to have fun. I want you to live, truly live. So if you read this, if I am truly gone, know that I would never leave you, even if you can’t see me. I would never abandon you.
Moisture hit the paper. One drop, then two, as if rain poured from the ceiling.
We can just pretend I am waiting for you to come home. One day, we will see each other again, no matter how long it takes. No matter where I go, I always know I will be okay because I had an amazing sister who loved me. You taught me how to take care of myself. You held my hand when I was scared to jump off cliffs, and you held my hand through everything else. You are not a monster. You never were, no matter what you think. You are my sister, my best friend, and my protector. So, if, by chance, this is the last time we speak, know that your job is done, and it’s time for you to take care of yourself for once.
Remember that I love you.
Always - Gabby
P.S. Because I know you, be nicer to Liam.
I didn’t feel my knees hit the ground or my body crumple into itself. It wasn’t until I felt my forehead rest against the cold stone that I realized I was even on the floor. I clutched the note to my chest, my mouth open in a silent scream. Finally, everything I had been holding, everything I had kept inside, came pouring out. Tears burned my cheeks, and I sobbed, the sound filling the empty palace. Reading the note and seeing the words written on the paper drove home the truth harder than watching the dust of her remains float away on the wind.
She was gone, and no matter what I had done, who I had killed, she was not coming back.
I was truly and completely alone.
The sobs ripped through me, my body feeling as if it were being torn from the inside out. In all the centuries of my existence, I had never felt pain like this. I cried so hard that the noises I made didn’t even sound mortal anymore. I cried until there were no more tears, but still, my chest heaved. The room grew darker and the world colder. I didn’t know how long I knelt there holding myself, but I eventually struggled to my feet, still clutching the letter to my chest. My body ached as if I’d been in battle, but I shuffled my way to the kitchen to get the picture before tackling the stairs to return to the room where I’d awakened. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head, holding the note and the picture close, shutting out the world.
Fifty-Two
Samkiel
“She must be dealt with! Face the consequences of her actions!” Leviathan said, slamming his fist on the marble table, shimmers of light dancing beneath his skin.
Several other council members, all dressed in sparkling white garbs and silver studded ropes, nodded. “If the Ig’Morruthens have returned, we should have been notified immediately.”
