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“Look at me,” he said, his voice firm.
They were on her bed having what she would call a picnic. After the revelation, Bryce insisted on feeding her even though she didn’t want to leave the bed. The new information had left her reeling and she was having a hard time coming back from it. She peeled her gaze from the bedspread and looked into his serious hazel eyes.
“I say we’ll figure it out, not to brush it off as nothing, but because no matter what you decide I will be here with you. I will support you. We both want children and you tried for children. Even if the baby belongs to Brandon, it will still be mine. If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, I will support your decision. I can completely understand how giving birth to his child might be too much for you. Whatever you decide, I’m here. So, to me, it is that simple.”
His explanation hurt her heart. It was perfect. He was saying all the right things, but no matter how many times he told her they would get through whatever it was, she needed some time alone to figure out what to do. Whatever she decided, it needed to be for her, not for him. She loved him. But she needed to love herself. Spending time with him only served to blur the lines between what she wanted and what she wanted with him.
“I need some time,” she said. Her voice was fragile, and in his silence, she wasn’t sure if he’d heard her. “I said—"
“I heard you,” he interrupted. “I can leave. I’d feel better if I could at least see you off to work, though.”
“I already let them know I won’t be in. I’m in no condition to perform tonight, and they are excited to try out my understudy.”
“Oh.” He stood and picked up his wallet and phone from the nightstand, placing them in his pockets. “I’ll head home then. If you change your mind and don’t want to be alone, just call me.”
Her eyes burned as tears spilled down her cheeks. She didn’t think she had any more tears left. She didn’t want him to go, but she felt like he needed to. Hopefully some time alone would give her some clarity.
“Sam—”
“Just go. Please. I’ll call you.” Closing her eyes and turning her back to him, she effectively dismissed him.
Unsure of how long she’d been lying there, she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. The house was dark with the bedside lamp providing the only light in her apartment. And it was quiet. Dead silent. Not even the refrigerator hummed as she lay in the bed wondering how she could possibly put her life back together.
Waking up alone in the bed made Bryce feel unsettled. It didn’t make sense, since he spent most of his nights alone due to Samantha’s schedule, but for some reason, it felt wrong. He should have fought harder to stay withher. He shouldn’t have left her alone, crying in her bed.
Reminding himself he’d only respected her wishes, he climbed out of bed to get some coffee and let the dog out, doing his best to ignore the loud silence of his house. Asher followed closely behind him, and he opened the back door to let him out. When he turned around, he found Rayelle sitting in his kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.
“Jesus Christ,” he gasped.
Rayelle tipped her head back and laughed. He watched without humor as she contained her laughter and focused her attention back on him.
“Sorry,” she said with a giggle. “I brewed an actual pot of coffee. I figured you’d smell it and figure out that you weren’t alone.”
“I’ve got other shit on my mind. What are you even doing here so early?” he asked after glancing at the clock on the stove.
“You look like shit.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t know that until just now. So why are you here?”
“Have coffee with me.”
He wanted to argue with her and throw her out, but he was actually glad to have her there with him. To say things were rough would be an understatement. The drive home from Samantha’s house had been long, and the night longer. It was partially his fault for falling short. Communication wasn’t always his strong point, so she probably didn’t truly understand his feelings. He filled a cup and joined his friend at the table.
“Now, are you going to tell me why you’re here?”
“I called Samantha last night because I hadn’t heard from her in a while. She sounded about like you look. She tried to play it off like it was nothing, but you know me…” she trailed off before continuing. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” he answered into his mug, wondering just how much detail Samantha went into.
“Don’t do that,” she snapped.
Looking up, he gave her his full attention. “Do what? Drink my coffee?”
Rayelle hid a smile. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
He and Rayelle had been friends long enough that she knew not to push him when he was in one of those moods, and for that he was grateful. Rayelle sat in silence as they drank their coffee, but he wondered if maybe he should talk about it. Maybe she could give him some suggestions, since he obviously had no idea how to handle the situation… not that Samantha was a situation that needed handling.
