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“I mean it,” he reassured her. “I’m not going anywhere. If you want to do things alone, that’s fine; I won’t fight you. But you never have to. Not if you don’t want to.”
With a deep breath, she began to relax into his hold once more. He wasn’t sure how long they stood there. They stood in that spot until Samantha stepped back and looked up at him.
“You ready to go to bed?” he asked.
She nodded her head. “Yeah. But, um—”
“To sleep,” he reassured her. The fact she was nervous about setting boundaries or suggesting they not have sex, made his heart constrict. He couldn’t stay angry at his dead brother, so instead, he felt regret and sadness over what he took from her. “You can say anything you want to me. You don’t have to be nervous about not wanting sex or for wanting it. The only thing I’ll ever get upset about is if you aren’t honest with me about what you want or what you need.”
He stayed behind when she went to take a shower, making a point of giving her space, and he wasn’t in bed long when she exited the bathroom to join him. Her braids were pulled up into a bun with a scarf wrapped around the edges and she was wearing a tank top and pajama shorts. Keeping his word wasn’t easy when all he wanted was to put his hands on her—to have her beg for him. And he was pretty confident that he could.
“We don’t have to go right to sleep if—”
“Samantha,” he cut her off. “I’m a patient man. You want to go to sleep, we’ll go to sleep. You don’t want sex? That’s fine; I’m more than capable of waiting, no matter how bad I want to be inside you.”
“Jesus,” she breathed.
Turning to his side, he lifted the covers, inviting her in. “What is it?”
“You can’t just say stuff like that,” she said as she climbed into bed beside him.
“Really? That’s strange, because I did,” he said with a chuckle as he pulled her close. “Now let’s get some sleep.”
She didn’t argue. As soon as he had his arms around her, she sagged against him. Holding her close, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax and enjoy the feel of her warm body pressed against his. Before long, he felt her drift off and knew he wouldn’t be far behind her.
Chapter 25
Samantha turned away from the window. Bryce’s curtains were thin, allowing the sun to shine through freely. As her only day off, she had planned on sleeping in. Opening one eye, she found Bryce sound asleep next to her with Asher asleep at his feet. As hard as she tried, there would be no falling back asleep. Rent had opened two weeks ago, and they fell into the routine of her spending two nights a week at Bryce’s house and the rest of the week in New York.
“You’re up early,” his sleep-filled voice said from beside her.
“Tell me about it,” she grumbled. “You need new curtains.”
“When we get our place, you can pick out the curtains.”
That had both of her eyes snapping open so she could look at him. He was lying there with his eyes closed as if he hadn’t just casually brought up moving in together. Not just moving in together but getting a place together. She knew he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping at her place, and she knew he wasn’t fond of the idea of them living in two different places once the baby arrived, but still.
“Come again?”
Lazily, he opened his eyes and met her gaze. “Let’s get a place together. I’m already tired of going to sleep without you next to me. I understand you have to work and I’m not saying that’s the issue. But we need to figure something out.”
“You could always just sleep—”
She didn’t get to finish the suggestion before he interrupted her. “You know I won’t sleep at your place. Now that I know what all happened, I can’t even stand being in there. Honestly, I’m not sure how you do it.”
Fighting the humiliation that washed over her, she cleared her throat and did her best to explain herself. She knew she didn’t have to explain anything to him. But she wanted to.
“I don’t love being there either. Everywhere I look is a memory. Not all the memories were bad. Sometimes I think of something from when we first moved in there, and I smile. It’s those memories that keep me going. Otherwise, I’d get swallowed up by grief, regret, and humiliation. I don’t really have a choice but to stay there, so I try to make the best of it,” she explained.
Obviously frustrated, Bryce got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. She stayed put when he walked out of the bedroom, calling Asher to follow him. Assuming he was taking the dog outside, she used the opportunity to use the bathroom, brush her teeth, and splash some cold water on her face. Bryce had danced around the subject of moving in together, but she could tell he was prepared for battle.
While in the bathroom, she gave herself a pep talk. She needed to give herself permission to hear him out, but also to stand her ground if she didn’t agree. She hadn’t been allowed to participate equally in conversations or to stand firm about anything in such a long time, she had nearly forgotten how.
When she emerged from the bathroom, Bryce was sitting on the edge of the bed, still wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. His arms were folded across his chest, and his expression unreadable. She stiffened at the sight, instantly going back to her past.
“Hey,” he breathed, standing from the bed. “Don’t freeze on me.”
She didn’t say anything in response. She was too busy trying to talk herself down from the mountain of anxiety. Reassessing the situation, she looked him over once more. He was standing with his arms unfolded and his palms up, almost as if she was a frightened animal. His neutral stance did help her to relax.
