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Samantha wasn’t sure how to respond. There had to be something more to it. She had gone over a hundred scenarios in her head and having him just agree that she should go to the audition wasn’t one of them.
“I should?” she asked after a long hesitation.
“Yes. You should.”
She looked him over and tried to figure out his angle. “That’s really sweet, but I decided the audition isn’t that important. There will be others. I’d rather go to this benefit with you.”
“I said go to the audition.”
Samantha sat up straighter and crossed her legs yoga style. “I must say, this is not how I saw this conversation going. I mean it. I thought about everything, and I’d rather go with you tonight.”
“That won’t be possible,” he said, effectively shutting her down.
“Excuse me?”
“I said that won’t be possible. Lissandra is going to go in your place. She wanted to go but had to work. By the time she arranged a switch, tickets were sold out. She wants to go. You don’t want to go. Now everyone is happy.”
Samantha forced herself to ignore the pang of disappointment. Lissandra used to work Brandon’s tour but transferred to a different firehouse after her husband suspected her of having an affair with Brandon. Brandon always denied any sort of relationship, and Samantha couldn’t find any proof, but she always had her doubts. The fact they kept in contact raised several red flags even without him taking her to the benefit.
“What does her husband have to say about that?” Samantha asked after a long silence.
“Nothing. They aren’t together anymore.”
That news left Samantha reeling. All visions of working on her marriage quickly moved to the background. She knew his game. He was taking Lissandra in order to punish her for not wanting to go. Change didn’t happen overnight. She was determined not to react. After sliding her legs around to the side of the bed, she quickly stood and headed for the bathroom. Hopefully, a shower would calm her down.
The hot water did nothing. The longer she stayed in the shower the more distraught she became. Along with the anger came disappointment in herself. She had convinced herself in his absence that she was the problem. Sure, she wasn’t perfect, but she wasn’t responsible for the way he treated her. She deserved better.
When she entered her bedroom with her bathrobe tied tightly around herself, she found Brandon already asleep in the bed. Asleep like he hadn’t a care in the world. The sight of him infuriated her.
Her initial thought was to refuse to go to her audition. As she stood in the kitchen and waited for the coffee to brew, it occurred to her that skipping the audition would only hurt her. He was probably counting on her being too upset to go. She wouldn’t allow him to sabotage her. She would go to that audition, and she would give it her all. All she needed to do was find a way to calm herself down so she could give it her all.
As if on cue, her phone buzzed with a text message.
Meka: Hey girl. Do you need a girls’ day? I’m sure today is a lot.
Samantha: I really do. Meet me at the Starbucks we usually go to in an hour?
Meka: See you then.
Samantha couldn’t believe Meka’s timing. Even though they were close at work, they had only hung out a few times. Some time with a friend was exactly what she needed. Her tendency to push people away kept her from having to explain her marriage, but it was also alienating. She deserved better.
She took her favorite canvas tote from the closet and loaded it with her sheet music, jazz shoes, character shoes, and a bottle of water in case she decided not to go home before her audition. After donning her favorite pair of black leggings and white cropped t-shirt, she grabbed a long black cardigan and headed out the door to meet her friend.
“I can’t believe you took me up on my invitation,” Meka said as soon as she walked through the entrance.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m going to work on that, I promise.”
“Don’t apologize! We all have our own shit we’re dealing with. Now, catch me up. What made you decide to come out? Are you okay?”
Samantha shifted her bag to her other shoulder while deciding how many details she wanted to share. Tired of covering up the truth, she opted to be fully transparent. Meka had never given her any reason to doubt their friendship.
“I’m going to the audition this afternoon,” she said.
“That’s great!” Meka responded. “I knew you’d change your mind. It’s the right choice. An open call for a Broadway revival of Rent? Once in a lifetime.”
She paused to place her order for a venti Americano. On audition days she avoided dairy, so she wouldn’t be getting her usual drink with all the frills. After waiting for Meka to place her order, she continued what she was saying once they were off to the side.
“Don’t give me so much credit. I spent the evening evaluating my marriage. I know it can’t be one person’s fault when a marriage fails, so I decided I would be the one to try harder. I decided to put him first and attend that stupid benefit,” Samantha began.
