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Savage cares enough to look out for me, but I don’t like the fact that he never told me about the cameras. “Did you put cameras up inside my apartment?” I ask.
“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t do that.”
“No, you would just put them up outside and not tell me about them,” I say, backing up another step.
“Hannah,” he says. “I should have told you I put it up, but you can’t tell me you don’t feel safer without me around.”
“I do feel safer with you around,” I say, breathing through my anger. He has helped me. He’s been everything to me over the past couple of weeks, but this is a struggle for me. “You know I want to be independent.”
“You can be independent and still be safe.”
“Not with the man I— I’m seeing watching me without my consent. That’s weird. That’s weird and kind of creepy.”
Savage grits his teeth. “I was your bodyguard. I technically still am. It’s not like I put a camera up in your bedroom without your consent. I have some boundaries.”
“But you’re not going to respect mine.”
“What?”
“You’re not going to take it down, are you?” I ask.
“Fuck, do you really want me to do that?” He cracks his knuckles. “Because I’m trying to protect you here.”
“Protect me from what? The stalker thing is not a thing any more.”
“I have a past too, Hannah. Someone might try to use you to get to me.” Savage scratches the back of his neck. “I got a weird fucking call a couple of weeks ago.”
“From who?”
“Davis. He was using a voice changer.”
“Well, that’s just amazing news,” I say. “That sounds like something you should have told me about.”
“It didn’t involve you.”
“But it involved me enough for you to keep watching over me with your cameras.”
Savage takes a breath. “Look,” he says, “I crossed a boundary here. That was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have put up the camera without asking you first. I’m sorry.”
I wait for him to try to gaslight me like one of my exes. To tell me that it was for my own good, and I’m overreacting.
“I hope you can forgive me, Hannah.”
“I need a little air,” I say. “I’m… look, Carter, I’m stuck on you, and I’m not going to stop seeing you because of this, but I need a minute to think, okay?”
Thirty-Eight
SAVAGE
I can’t fucking stand this.
I stare at the open doorway and listen to the sound of Hannah’s retreating steps on the stairs, grinding my teeth.
Yeah, I put up the camera. Sure, I should have told her, but I acted on impulse. I wanted her safe, and fuck it, I would do it again. With the caveat that I’d tell her about it first. And now she wants space. Space I have to give her, even though I’m fucking aching inside to take her in my arms and hold her close.
The fact is, I don’t want to give Hannah space.
I’ve spent the last sixteen years wanting only space. Space from the world and all the people in it, but now that she wants it, all I want is her.
