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“The baby was a girl. My daughter,” I say, and my vision blurs around the edges. I reach into my pocket and feel the soft, cold links of the bracelet. I breathe through it.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Hannah says. “I wanted you to know that even after I leave, I’ll be there for you. You can call me any time if you need to talk to somebody, or if you’re feeling any type of way.”
I nod, grinding my teeth. “It’s just—” The words come out choked and slow. “I wasn’t there. I should have been. That is what is fucking me up. I should have been there for her when she needed me.”
Hannah rests her head on my chest, and I inhale her scent. It’s beautiful and perfect. I have lost so much, and now that she’s with me, I can’t imagine her not being there. Or watching her leave.
How the fuck am I going to stay calm when she goes? What if this stalker ass fuck doesn’t listen to Cash and comes to find her?
“I’m here,” she says, and presses a kiss to the side of my neck.
She’s dangerous for me to be around, but I want to stay with her anyway. I want to make sure she’s safe. The thought of losing her after everything I’ve been through is too much to take. My vision blurs, and I shut my eyes, holding the bracelet.
“Carter?”
“Mmm.”
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“It’s just something I hold on to to keep me calm,” I say. “When I start talking about this stuff, I need an object to focus on.” You shouldn’t have done this.
“What is it?”
Shit. I remove the bracelet from my pocket and hold it out in the palm of my hand.
Hannah gasps. “Oh my God,” she whispers. “My bracelet.”
It’s a silver charm bracelet with thick links. There’s only one charm on it—a small key, the end of which is shaped into the number 21.
She touches her fingers to it, frowning. “I lost this on the night you, uh, rejected me.”
“You were drunk,” I say. “I wasn’t about to take advantage of you, Hannah.”
“But you took my bracelet?”
I keep my palm open so she can take it from me. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I found it on your living room floor, and I was going to give it back to you. It was broken.” I turn it over in my fingers and show her the clasp, the metal that’s misshapen from where it bent and I fixed it. “The chain snapped there, but I fixed it.”
“Thank you.”
“But then, I kept it, because it felt good to hold.”
“And it helps keep you calm,” Hannah breathes. “My bracelet helps keep you calm.”
“Take it, Princess,” I say. “It’s yours. I should’ve given it back to you the minute I fixed it.”
She runs her fingers over my palm, holds the sides of my hand and closes my fingers over her bracelet. “You keep it,” she says, with a small smile. “It was a gift from my mother, and she gave it to me so that I would always have luck and happiness.”
“I’m an asshole,” I say, and hold it out to her.
Hannah puts up her hands. “I’m not taking it back, Carter. Keep it. I want you to have it. Maybe it will bring you luck.”
“I’ve already got you sitting in my lap,” I say. “How much luckier can I get?”
“I think you’re about to find out.” She runs her hands through my hair and brings herself closer. Her lips press against mine, and it’s further confirmation that she’s what I want. I’m not right for her, and I can’t allow myself to have her, but god damn if I don’t want those two things to be true.
“Oh, Carter,” she murmurs.
I deepen the kiss and place the bracelet in my pocket. I get up, and she wraps her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist. I carry her through the house to the bedroom, then lower her onto the bed, still kissing her.
