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Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lia
Idusted off my hands and grabbed my bag when I noticed Shell stepping around paint cans by the doorway. She and I were grabbing lunch before the final check-in with the craftsman working on the custom furniture order.
The painting got finished today. Flooring was in, appliances and lighting installed. Experience Shoreview was coming together. Time was running out for us to get the place furnished. We couldn't make the deadline if there were problems at the artisan builder's. Pressure was on.
"Hey, girlfriend. Why so glum? I know the weather's been lousy, but the fun stuff is coming up!"
"That's my problem."
I looked out the window at the overcast sky.
"What is?"
"It's almost over." My voice cracked.
"Oh…" Shell rubbed my back, and I swallowed hard.
Raph didn't stop in at all the last few weeks. He disappeared into his work just like he said he would. I thought about him every day on site, the remnants of my heart willing him to appear, but nothing.
When my mom called to tell me he checked in with her, I had hope again, but still nothing. That was about money, not about me.
I was living without him. Each day blurred into the one before. I felt naked for the first time in my life. Exposed to the bone-chilling air of reality. Tears pricked my eyes.
Two more weeks. I can get through.
Shell and I walked out the back exit and down the avenue to our favorite Italian cafe for a light lunch and caffeine boost. We walked in silence, and guilt gnawed at me. My sadness affected everyone around me, which wasn't fair. I was the world's most colossal bummer.
Once inside the cafe, Shell ordered soup and a sandwich we could split, and I found a table. She was so great with me, rolling with the tides. She deserved more than silence from me. I had to open up. When she returned to our table, I let go.
"He was my Mystery Guy. He remembered me, and I was important. I affected him, too. It wasn't just me."
I took a few spoonfuls of soup, trying to enjoy the warmth, but it was useless. Tears pooled in my eyes and slipped free.
"He was literally the man of my dreams." I said, voice cracking. "He was the man of my dreams."
I covered my face with my hands and cried. Pain ripped through me. He walked out of my life and didn't care how I was doing. Maybe he was right; we never should have gotten involved. Dreaming was better than a living nightmare, wasn't it?
But if I could go back and change it, I wouldn't dare. I wouldn't change a single thing. Having loved and lost was better than never knowing. Even if the knowledge sliced me to ribbons.
Shell scooted her chair close and pulled me into a hug.
"Heartbreak is the worst."
I managed an 'uh-huh' between sobs and gulping down air. I had been sad when it didn't work out with my college boyfriend, but that hurt seemed like nothing now. This was agony. Torment. There was a hole in me I could never fill.
I had peaks and valleys over the last couple of weeks. I'd convince myself I was doing okay, that it had been a short fling and soon it would stop hurting. But then my mom would call, screaming and crying about how her life was over, and I'd get worn down to the red again.
"At least it's almost over. When we get the furniture, there's just the party. You're almost there, Lia. It's gonna be okay."
I picked my head up and wiped at my eyes. Red and blotchy wasn't how I wanted to present myself to the vendors. I had to pull myself together.
Shell was right. When we were done with the furniture, there was nothing left but the completion party. It was the last requirement in my contract.
Raph would come to the event, then he'd be gone. Probably open more clubs. Probably definitely never see me ever again. My lip wobbled.
"Let's get some coffee. I think I embarrassed myself enough for one cafe visit."
