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What would she be doing while I was gone? Where did she go? What did she do? I didn't know much about the woman she became.
We had that talk last night, and I found myself wanting more from her. More of her. It unsettled me and brought on an uncomfortable conclusion.
For the time being, I needed Lia. Whether it was for Experience Shoreview or my own selfish reasons… That was a harder question to answer. Regardless of the answer, I still needed her.
Even if our relationship was destined for failure, I knew Lia was worth keeping around for her design ability. I had a good feeling about that. Her capabilities drew me to her before I'd paid attention to her looks, kissed her, or placed her identity.
Even if I didn't know how to conduct myself with the woman without getting in her pants, at least I knew she was the right fit for Experience. I would know soon.
I really hope I didn't mess this up.
I sat down at what used to be Geoff's desk inside the office we had, at one time, shared. If there weren't memories attached to every corner, the room might seem boring. But not to me. I still missed Geoff and his insight every day. The pale blue walls, soft recessed lighting, and the large oak desk were all big reminders.
A disheveled stack of paperwork awaited me, though, so I didn't have time to get too misty. To get through it, I would organize, prioritize, and eliminate. I needed to get back on track after my week away.
From time to time, Geoff was behind. Especially when he opened Aire, the sister club. That was a lengthy process that kept him away from the office a lot. With that fact in mind, I cut myself some slack on the mess.
I heard the employee entrance door crash open and flicked my eyes to my watch. Kendall was late.
"Hey, Raph!" He yelled into the deserted corridor.
"In here," I called back.
"Figures. When aren't you cooped up in this office?"
"What else should I do while I'm waiting on your chronically late ass? These 'managers' left a mess for me. What do I keep them around for?" I shot Kendall a conspiratory smile.
"Hey, hey, hey. There's nothing in that pile of crap from me. Check with Judy. She's the one who can't think for herself. I got my shit in order, man."
I stood and hugged my buddy and added a hard slap on the back for good measure. It had been a while since we spent a lot of time together. Things were different with me in charge of everything instead of managing alone. Now I did everything at Experience while I balanced opening another location down across the river. Experience Shoreview was already looking good. But we were short on time.
"How is everything going for you down in Dirty Jersey? And hey, how's that girl? Lily?" Kendall grabbed a seat across the desk.
I shuffled some of the paperwork around on the desk, looking busy while I formulated the best answer. There wasn't much left to accomplish. That was good, but it didn't leave me with many excuses.
"The building is incredible. We'll do a lot with it. The town is cool too. Lots of young, rich people. Design Everything hit the mark with their initial presentation, and the final design is up for review when I head back. It's been difficult to get updates, but I'm optimistic."
If I looked Kendall in the eye, he would see through my evasion. Against better judgement, I looked up. Kendall threw his head back and laughed.
"Wow. Never thought I'd see the day. Raphael has got. It. Bad. It's shocking to see you fawning over the fairer sex for once in your miserable life. I'm so proud, I could shed a tear," he said, wiping under his eye.
"It's not about the girl. There's crushing pressure to get nail this project. Geoff was a god with this stuff. The man left me everything he built, and his dying words were to find more success in life than him. I need to live up to that. He was like a father to me." I paused and hung my head, lacing my fingers at the back of my neck. "I can't keep getting so distracted, but the more I try to stay focused, the more I can't stop thinking about Lia. I can't stop, man."
"Look. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm sure it took Geoff time to get shit done and learn how to manage how he did. You're not superhuman. That's where all the pressure is. You're creating it yourself. And you've always been great with the gut stuff."
He kicked me under the desk. "And dude, it sounds like forgetting the girl isn't on the table. If I were you, I'd stop trying."
I needed reassurance in my ability to run the business, and I didn't need to hear how badly I had it for this girl. Although…
What Kendall was telling me was probably what Geoff would have told me, too. Despite our relationship being business focused, Geoff was always telling me how I needed to get out more. That's why he initially encouraged me to have a roommate; so I wasn't alone as much.
Kendall and I balanced each other out. I was spiraling out of control now that I was alone. There was no one to tell me to stop and take a break, job well done, or to focus on what mattered in my heart. That realization made loneliness stand front and center.
"So let me get this straight. Everything is going off without a hitch. There's a smoking hot babe working for you, and she's talented to boot. Nothing bad has happened whatsoever, but you still wanna bail?" Kendall leaned back in his chair, rocking it with his foot on the corner of my desk.
"Geoff wanted me to bring Experience to new heights, and that's what I'm doing. I can't get distracted by gorgeous women." I sighed, moving more papers around.
"Okay, for sure. Do that. Look at our profits this last year; they're insane. And so are your expectations for yourself. Like it or not, you're mortal just like the rest of us sad suckers," Kendall said, standing up. "And by the way, did you ever notice a woman on his arm? Where does that rank in terms of success?"
