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I took a left and walked down my childhood street. From there, I’d take a right down the hill to the deli. They made a mean breakfast sandwich, and it had been years since I had one. My stomach rumbled in anticipation.
The neighborhood felt the same. I passed my brother’s friends’ houses on the way and wondered what they were up to these days. I noticed the same cracks in the sidewalks. The sleepy town was the same, as if time had moved slower. And my mother was the same as she’d always been, too. Stuck in the quicksand of time.
I reached the deli and ordered two sandwiches to go. While I waited, I got a lousy French vanilla cappuccino from the self-serve machine. Extra-large. When my food was ready, the cashier gave me a brown paper bag and sent me on my way.
Old Mr. Daniels stood at the counter drinking black coffee and working on a stack of scratch-off tickets. Everything looked exactly the same as it had when I was young. Faded and worn, but the same. The stasis was both a comfort and a worry, somehow.
When I got back to my mother’s, she was awake, and the TV was on.
“Where’d you run off to for so damn long?”
“I walked down to the deli. Brought you back a sandwich.”
I worked my way over to her and set the paper bag in her lap.
“Take whichever one you want. I got plain cheese, and the other one is bacon.”
“I prefer ham, but what can I expect,” Mom muttered as she unwrapped the cellophane from her chosen sandwich. “No coffee?”
“I wouldn’t have been able to carry it. Are you dressed and ready to go?”
“Do I look dressed? Honestly, Amelia.”
She wore the same clothes as yesterday, but I had no way of knowing how often she changed. Based on the tub, I was pretty sure she wasn’t showering.
After she finished eating and changing her clothes in the kitchen, I helped her out the front door and into the passenger seat of my rental.
“Hey, Mom, I was wondering, if you aren’t driving anymore, would it be okay with you if I took the car with me when I head back? It would save me a lot of time and money.”
Mom didn’t answer, she just stared out the window. I’d try again later. Now that I knew she wasn’t even using the car, I didn’t have to feel bad about taking it back. Even though it was mine…
She needed it when hers died for her errands. I agreed she needed it more than me since her disability money only went so far, but the arrangement had been temporary. More than a year had passed. Enough was enough.
We pulled in at the doctor’s office building, and I walked in with her to make sure she checked in. Before we found seats in the waiting area, the doctor came out.
“Amelia! It’s so good to see you. Your mother said you’d be in town.”
When we walked over, Dr. Owens clasped my hands in his chilly ones. He leaned in so Mom couldn’t hear him.
“If your mom asks you to leave, go, but I hoped to have an audience. If you understand.”
I nodded, smiled, and followed him and Mom back to the examination room.
“Mrs. Hall. What brings you in today?” He asked after the door closed.
I put a hand on Mom’s shoulder so she knew I was there, and she didn’t bat me away or tell me to leave. I was in the clear.
“My breathing hasn’t been so good, Doctor. And I’m having a hard time getting around.”
Dr. Owens looked at Mom’s knees and listened to her lungs. After referring her to a specialist for a knee replacement, he warned her about air quality and suggested she clean up a little and open the windows when she dusts.
I knew the look. He knew about how she lived. When my mother walked out into the reception area for checkout, Dr. Owens stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Your mom’s been in a few times for her breathing, and her mobility is getting worse. I want you to get in touch with someone that can help her. I don’t want to call APS or the township to get it taken care of, but something has to happen. Here’s my office extension. Please call me and let me know how things go, okay?”
“I’ll do what I can, but we’ve been down this road. No promises.”
He nodded. “You’re a good kid, Lia.”
