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His cheeks were flushed. He nodded, setting down the rest of the beers on a nearby table and then nodding at me before heading back off toward the back rooms behind the bar.
“Fuck,” I said under my breath.
“Hey,” Chase said from beside me, leaning in close to make sure no one else heard him. “We just got that on camera, and if you want that footage deleted, you’ll need to talk to Marcy and Tom.”
Chase really was a professional, when it came down to it. Already today, he seemed to know that I needed a break from camera time. And just now, he’d seemed to quickly realize that Harlan might not be comfortable with a public kiss.
“I know I’d be okay with it,” I said. “Hell, you could film us making out every night and I’d be fine with the world seeing it. But I’m not sure about Harlan.”
“He did seem a bit freaked,” Chase agreed.
“I need to go talk to him.”
“Better go fast, because he’s bolting,” Chase said, nodding toward the front doors of the bar where Harlan had just quickly tossed on a jacket and headed outside.
Fuck.
I grabbed my beer glass and went out after him. The sun was just starting to set, and the low light of dusk was filtering through the trees that lined Spruce Street. Jade River was a small town, but the area around here at the town center still had its fair share of people walking around, from families with strollers to people shopping and others looking forward to a night out.
My eyes scanned the sidewalks for Harlan, looking for his height and bulk and flannel. I finally spotted him, sitting on a bench shaded by a gigantic oak tree, a bit further down Spruce Street, under one of the trees that was wrapped with twinkly white lights.
He looked up as I approached, his eyes going from me down to the beer glass.
“Hey,” he said. “Technically, you just stole a pint glass from the brewery by bringing that out here.”
“I’m going to take it back, and you know it.”
I sat down next to him on the black metal bench, the sides of our bodies touching.
“For fuck’s sake, give a guy a little room,” he said.
“You don’t want room,” I said. “You want to be all pressed up against me.”
It was the kind of teasing I might have even done long ago. It felt even better now, at least to me, but I had no idea if he felt the same way right now.
“I do like it,” he said, letting out a huge breath.
“So are you going to tell me why the fuck you just ran out of the brewery?”
He looked down, picking up a stray fallen white flower from the sidewalk and twirling it around between his fingers.
“Because I was about to lose my mind inside when you kissed me like that,” he finally said.
I locked eyes with him, and his gaze cut right to my soul. Worry flooded every inch of my body at once. I felt like I was walking a tightrope of desire and confusion, not knowing which was to stay balanced.
I cleared my throat. “You didn’t like it, did you?” I asked.
“Of course I liked it,” he clarified. “I fucking love it when you kiss me, and it doesn’t matter where or when or how. But I sure as hell wasn’t expecting it.”
I looked down at my beer, watching the foam disappear. I swallowed a big gulp, nodding. “I know. I know. Jesus, Moose, I didn’t know I was going to do that, either. It was like it happened automatically.”
“We spend one night together and you kiss me like I’m your ol’ ball and chain? In front of TV cameras?” he asked, and I was so relieved when I looked up and saw the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
God, I needed that smile. It was like a small beacon, a green light, a reminder that maybe I didn’t fuck everything up.
“Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know. As usual, I have no clue what I’m doing.”
We sat there for a beat, neither one of us speaking. I could feel him thinking, and I was sure he could feel the same from me, too.
All I wanted to do was kiss him again. I wanted everything to be uncomplicated, but I also wanted to respect his history, respect his privacy, and never rush him through anything.
I forced myself to stop staring at his plush lips. I looked around, seeing that all of the trees around us that weren’t pine trees were finally starting to get their full leaves back, small but bright green like confetti along every branch. There were beautiful white and pale pink blooms, too, along some of the other bushes and trees.
The full glory of spring was here, after the last of the usual snowy winter had finally rolled through last week. It had arrived right under my nose, as I worried about my own life, as usual.
