“Yeah?”
“You heard me.”
Something zinged deep inside me hearing Harlan use that tone with me. It felt like something forbidden, hearing him speak to me in that commanding way. Since when was I the kind of guy who liked being bossed around? And since when did it make my cock hard? With Harlan, it just seemed to click right into place. I already knew he loved me, and of course I wanted to do what he asked.
I walked over to the bed and tossed away my towel, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. He came over slowly, stopping right before me at the bottom of the bed.
“You sure you want this?” he asked softly. “Why now, Sawyer?”
His palm came down on my shoulder and I saw my own skin break out in goosebumps at his touch.
“I’ve tried to ask myself the same question so many times,” I admitted. His palm trailed a little lower, his fingertips skimming over my collarbone and down the middle of my chest. “I don’t know why. Because I’ve been blind the whole time until now? Because I’m still learning who the hell I am, even in my thirties? And maybe, just a little, because both of us are… available, at the same time?”
“You know I’ve always been here for you,” he told me.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re saying you would have let me suck your dick at any point in our friendship?”
“Sawyer,” he said, “I would have lost my goddamn mind if you’d asked to suck my dick anytime in the last fifteen, twenty years. I still can’t believe that just happened.”
I held his gaze. “I loved every second of it.”
“You are impossible,” he uttered as his hands found their way to my shoulders again, “and tonight you are mine.”
My cock throbbed as I heard him say it.
I wanted to be his. So badly. I’d already felt like I belonged to him for so long, anyway, so how was this any different? But I felt like I’d just dropped into free-fall on a roller coaster.
He pushed me backward onto the bed and straddled me, crushing his lips to mine. I pulled him close, letting my hard cock push up against his skin.
“Fuck, how do you feel so good?” I asked against his lips a moment later. I squeezed the sides of his body, letting my palms roam over his abs and down toward his hips.
“Could ask you the same thing,” he said. “I mean, how are you this perfect?”
His kisses moved lower. I swore I could come just from the feeling of his lips on my neck. When he moved down to slide his tongue along my nipple, I bucked my hips, inadvertently rutting my cock up against his lower stomach. I let out a low groan.
“I am not going to last long,” I admitted.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not going to tease you,” Harlan said.
He ran his lips and tongue along the bottom of my stomach now, so close and yet so, so far from my cock. I was aching for him, and I couldn’t remember a time in my life I’d craved a blow job this badly.
I saw it all so clearly now. For years and years I’d watched as gay guys drooled over Harlan. Some part of me had always even felt a pang of pride when they were clearly crazy for him: the look they’d get in their eyes, the way they’d sometimes stumble over their words when talking to him.
I got it now. I felt like I could barely string together a thought around him right now, let alone a sentence. His strong, slightly calloused palms running along my skin. The soft hair of his beard trailing along the sensitive places at the top of my thigh.
The way he could look so commanding and strong yet so kind and sweet, all at the same time. All with one glimpse of his eyes.
God. I really was into him.
The moment his lips finally landed on the tip of my cock, I’d been anticipating it for what felt like hours. I’d teased his cock with my tongue at first, but he apparently didn’t have any hesitation. He sucked me deep, right away, going down like it was his goddamn calling in life.
“Oh my God,” I uttered, watching my cock completely fucking disappear into his mouth.
Into his throat.
He was good at it. Really good at it. Way better than me, and apparently he had no sense of a gag reflex at all.
I propped myself up on my elbows, gazing down at him as he pulled off for a moment. His lips were slick and glossy in the low light of the room. He looked at me like he knew he owned my whole fucking body. A type of quiet confidence that I’d otherwise never have known he had.