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“You’re big,” I said.
“You’re insane,” he told me, breathing deep. But his eyes were half-lidded, like he was locked in a state of bliss. I’d given him that bliss, and I felt way prouder than I had any right to.
“So?”
“So,” he said, pulling in a breath. “I love every second of it. And I feel like I’m going to come in your mouth way too fast if you do that again—”
I was on him again instantly, letting my tongue lap all along the underside of his dick. I had no clue what I was doing, and I was sure Harlan had received much more… experienced blowjobs in the past, but I felt like I was in a damn playground, wanting to explore every inch of him.
I let myself get sloppy with it, the way I would have liked it. I slicked him with spit, taking every opportunity to try to deep throat him again. He was big, too big, really, but that sure as hell wasn’t going to stop me.
Every time he groaned and bucked his hips forward involuntarily it only spurred me on further.
I pulled off of him for just a moment, gripping his slick cock with my fist as I looked up at him.
“I want you to come in my mouth,” I told him, pinning him with my gaze.
“Are you sure—”
“I want it so fucking badly,” I assured him. “Come for me. Please?”
Harlan had looked at me lovingly plenty of times before, but I’d never seen him look at me like he did just then. Like he wanted to hug me, kiss me, devour me, and absolutely defile me, all at once.
So fucking hot.
I was on him again a moment later and I held nothing back. I sucked him off like it was my job, and when he started swearing under his breath again, I knew he was close. I hummed around him and gripped his hips, treating him like he was mine.
All mine.
“Sawyer—gonna come—” he said, his breath broken.
I took him deep and he finally let go, coming in my mouth like I’d asked. It was a shock at first, and more come than I’d expected, but there was something explicitly hot about that, too, feeling him fill my mouth. He tasted pleasantly neutral and I swallowed around him, holding his hips as he slowly bucked forward, over and over as he came.
Yeah. I could get used to that.
I pulled off his dick, pressing little kisses to the tops of his thighs as he caught his breath.
“You… how… I don’t even…” he said, not able to finish a thought.
“Incredible,” I said.
“You are so good,” he managed to say.
I dragged my palm along his leg, wishing I could touch every inch of him, all at once. “Next time I want to try it with you lying down, see if I can get more into my throat.”
“Next time?” he asked, looking down at me deliriously.
“I want to do that again. And again. And again. I’d do it more tonight, as soon as you can get hard again.”
“Goddamn, Sawyer,” he said.
I stood up, getting off my knees. I leaned in to kiss him, this time softly, sweetly, with no rush.
“You okay?” I asked as I pulled away, resting my forehead against his.
“I just… I had no idea,” he said. “My head is spinning.”
“Mine kind of is too,” I said. “But I also think I might not care anymore. I’m kind of thinking I’ve spent so long wondering what the ‘right’ things to do are, but I’ve never known what the right thing is for me.”
My chest was heavy, all of a sudden, a profound sense of wasted time hitting me like a wave. Maybe this was something I could have wanted all along, but never knew was a viable option. For the entire time I’d known him, I’d been trying and mostly failing to date women. The relationships were often short-lived, and they had all felt more like courtships than crushes. And with the amount of time Harlan had been with Thomas and then grieving Thomas, there hadn’t ever seemed like there was an opportunity for me to consider a world where I could be attracted to him.
Doing anything like this with him would have seemed impossible for most of our friendship.
But now we were here. Everything had changed. And I wasn’t afraid to see exactly how far this could go, if Harlan was willing to explore it with me.
“You’re always worried about doing the right thing,” Harlan said, considering it. “So in this case, the right thing was sucking cock, huh?”
I puffed out a laugh. “I guess so.”
“Damn. Hot.”
“Really fucking hot,” I agreed. “Maybe sucking cock is always the right thing to do. Guess I’ll have to find out.”
“Get on the bed,” he ordered, and my neglected cock suddenly perked up again.
