“Do you really think it was a mistake?” he asked sweetly. “What we did?”
I swallowed. “I knew it was a mistake. Because it made you uncomfortable.”
He thought for a second. “Harlan, it really didn’t make me uncomfortable. At all. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was seeing how much you regretted it. Hated it.”
I snorted. “I didn’t hate it. Are you nuts? It was all I could think about.”
I knew I’d said too much, because Sawyer looked genuinely shocked. Water droplets fell in rivulets down his hair and neck, and I realized I was staring a little too hard at the spot near his collarbone. Breaking my own rule.
Fuck. Was I already slipping? Not even one night into trying to act normal with him again, and already I was like an animal again, lusting after him?
“Thank God I’m not the only one who can’t stop thinking about it,” he said soon after. “If we’re doing full, unfiltered honesty, I have to admit something to you.”
I furrowed my brow, anticipating the worst. Maybe he was about to admit how much the kiss had grossed him out, after thinking about it enough, or maybe he was going to tell me it was the dumbest thing he’d ever done in his life.
“Spit it out,” I said. “What is it?”
He bit his lower lip, his eyes trailing along my chest and then back up to my eyes. “I, uh… may or may not have gotten off to the thought of that kiss. A couple of times. And I kind of dreamed about you kissing me again, the other night. I jerked off to that, too.”
“Sawyer,” I said, in a tone that should have sounded like a warning but ended up sounding almost flirty.
He reached out a hand, trailing his fingertips along the center of my chest. “So you really didn’t hate kissing me?” he asked, his voice so innocent and devilish all at once.
My cock responded immediately to his touch, his voice.
And there was no way to hide that I was getting hard, standing right next to him here in the shower.
I swallowed, my throat strangely tight all of a sudden. “I didn’t hate it. It was really, really hot, Sawyer.”
He reached his hand down, his palm trailing lower now along my water-slicked body, heading down toward my thigh and inching dangerously close to my cock. My heart jackhammered in my chest. I was completely and utterly gone, lost under the spell of his blue eyes, his lashes coated in water droplets, his fucking irresistible pout of a mouth.
“Then quit talking and kiss me again.”
8
SAWYER
Harlan’s lips were on mine the moment I told him I wanted it. I gasped as he closed the gap between us and crushed his mouth to mine.
He was kissing me for the first time. Every other time, I had to be the one to initiate anything physical between us, to hope and pray silently in my mind that it was even something he’d want. Not to mention the tornado of confusion that had been plaguing me all week.
But confusion was the last thing on Earth I felt right now.
I didn’t know if I was gay or bi or just a fucking freak who couldn’t get enough of my best friend, but I knew with every bone in my body that I wanted him.
I leaned back on the tiled wall of the shower as he kissed me harder, letting his tongue slide out against mine.
“Mistake, mistake, mistake,” he murmured against my lips, before kissing me again. I pushed him back a little, giving him a firm gaze.
“Since when do we back down from making mistakes?” I asked. “I want you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Think I fucking do.”
He groaned, pressing his lips to mine again. He was kissing me so hungrily, greedily, like something about tonight had made him feel like he finally had permission.
And it was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced.
“Quit telling me what I want and don’t want,” I said, gripping the hair at the back of his head. “Here.”
With my other hand, I reached down to his hand and dragged it over toward my cock. I placed it on my cock, groaning quietly as our skin made contact.
“You are so hard,” he said, his voice low and ragged. “Christ, since when is your cock so massive?”
I grinned, giving him a look. “You’ve seen it plenty.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, but I’ve never really looked. Not… not like this.”
He wrapped his fist around it now, letting himself gaze down at my dick. His was just as hard as mine, standing at attention, thick and fucking mouthwatering, if I was being honest.
“I’ve never really seen yours like this, either,” I admitted. It wasn’t even just his dick, but the entirety of him: Harlan may have stopped working manual labor at the farm long ago, but his body definitely hadn’t changed. If anything he looked even stronger than he had back in our farm days. Smooth, taut planes of muscle formed a V-shape near the bottom of his stomach, and downy hair led down to his cock.