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It's not a weird question. In the past, I slept in his bed while he slept just outside the door. It was our normal, and I always slept great like that. I knew Kazex was watching out for me, looking out for me. I knew no one would come after me while he was on guard, and it was lovely. But I'm no longer worried about someone breaking into my room and molesting me. Tonight, I'm more worried about closing my eyes and finding myself back in that tube again, staring at a million Ruth-Ann faces across the way. I don't want to be alone. "Can you sleep with me?" I blurt out. "Just for tonight?"
He pauses, but only for a moment. "Of course."
I climb onto the bed ahead of him, relieved that he's not going to make this difficult. That he's not going to quiz me about why I've been avoiding him for the last several weeks when I couldn't get enough of him before. I could cry at how happy I am that he's just going to let me sleep at his side, no questions asked.
Kazex waits to get into bed, slipping on a pair of trou underneath the blanket before he climbs in after me. He then gets in and spreads his blanket over both of us. There's room between us in the bed, and since I'm pushing all the boundaries tonight, I decide I don't like that space. I move closer to him, curling up against his chest and tucking my head against him. "Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you up."
"I wasn't sleeping." His arm settles around me.
"Why weren't you sleeping?"
He pats my back. "Just go to sleep, Ruthie."
Sleep sounds good. For the first time since I arrived, I feel settled and at peace. I close my eyes, content.
CHAPTER
SIX
KAZEX
Why weren't you sleeping?
As if I can tell the female of my dreams that I was very busy jerking off to her before she came in? I grit my teeth, doing my best to keep my hips as far away from Ruthie's curled form as possible while she tucks her head under my chin and snuggles against my chest. This would be the greatest moment of my life if my cock weren't throbbing and rock-hard.
It doesn't matter that I'm uncomfortable. Ruthie needs me, and I want to be here for her. The ache in my groin will go away soon enough...I hope.
I trail my fingers over her nape, unable to stop touching her. Ruthie's scent is light and delicate, just like her, and I'm just as besotted with her as I was the first day she arrived, all frightened eyes and terrified posture. She's not like Ruth, who wants to attack her way out of any bad situation. Ruthie's more gentle. Her spirit is more fragile...and I want nothing more than to be the protector she needs.
She shifts against me, and I stiffen, worried she's felt the protruding bulge between my thighs.
"Thank you," she says in a soft voice. "I'm glad you don't hate me."
Maybe I'm lucky and she hasn't noticed my erection yet. "I could never hate you. Never. I told you I'll always be your friend, Ruthie. I'm not going anywhere. If you're struggling to figure yourself out, take your time. I'll be right here."
She makes a sound of contentment and her hand slides against my side, settling in.
This is a gift, I decide. Having Ruthie curled up next to me, pressing against me as if she needs me? It is a gift. Reverently, I stroke her arm, noticing the delicate ear far too close to my lips. I want to kiss it, like I've seen Straik kiss Ruth, but I don't dare. "You got another piercing."
Ruthie's lips curl into a smile. "You noticed."
"I notice everything about you." My words are forward, but Ruthie knows how I feel. I've never hidden it. She knows she is everything in the universe to me.
Her eyes flutter open and she gazes up at me. "I just...felt like I needed one. Wanted to be a little more different than the others."
"I understand." Who better to understand her than one of the a'ani? We are clones, too, and though we have never doubted our origin, I know what it feels like to stare into a sea of faces just like mine and wonder who—and what—I am. "I like it."
She chuckles. "I could cut my ear off like Van Gogh and you'd like it."
"That seems like an extreme look. Maybe just decorate your ear instead of chopping it off." I run a finger along the delicate edge of her lobe. "It's too pretty to get rid of."
Ruthie shivers and gazes up at me.
My heart aches even as my body burns for her. I want to remember every moment of this. Of us being in bed together, with Ruthie's bare legs twined with mine. This is the most she's ever given me and I won't abuse her trust. In the past, everything between us has been small touches of hands, shared smiles or teasing jokes. I've given her the occasional hug when she looked like she needed one, but I've never pushed for more than she's willing to give.
