“Make love to me, Shay,” I breathed.
15.
Shay
It was … a struggle. One part of me was eager to give Maggie exactly what she asked for, but the other part knew something was off with her. That wasn’t like her. She didn’t throw herself at me like that.
I could feel her desperation, thick and heavy. Something was wrong. I heaved a gust of breath when her hand closed around my throbbing erection. I willed myself to break the kiss, but then she was pumping up and down, and I lost my last few brain cells. I kept kissing her, pure instinct, our tongues colliding, breaths quickening. I needed her, had been wanting her for weeks, but not like that. Not when she was clearly going through something.
Finally, I summoned the power to break away.
“What’s wrong?” she breathed, lying on my bed like the sexiest, most tempting vision I’d ever seen. I couldn’t allow myself to give in, though. I moved away, quickly doing my jeans back up. She sat and reached for me, her delicate fingers closing around mine, and her blue eyes shining, begging. “Please, Shay, just help me to forget.”
Stepping away from the bed, I went to find my phone. “Something’s wrong. You’re upset,” I typed, the app voice playing through the speaker. “What happened?”
Some kind of shame coloured her features as she lowered her eyes to the floor. She exhaled heavily. “It’s been a rough day.” A joyless laugh fell from her lips. “A rough few days, I guess, but today was bad.” There was a quiver in her voice, and it made me want to wrap her in my arms and kiss her until everything was better again. But that would only lead to a place I wasn’t prepared to go, not when she was like that.
I returned to the bed, sitting next to her when I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Her eyes met mine. “No, I don’t.” She paused, her voice lowering to an embarrassed whisper, “I want you to fuck me so hard I don’t have to think about it anymore.”
Her low, whispered words had blood rushing south, my cock throbbing painfully, but I wouldn’t let my baser instincts lead me. Maggie was too important and too vulnerable right then. I refused to take advantage of her, even if she said she wanted it, even if she begged.
Reaching out, I caught her chin, meeting her gaze with a sober expression. Lowering my hand, I typed, “I won’t have sex with you. Not if there’s a chance you’ll regret it afterwards.”
Her eyelids turned heavy, a tendril of desire in her expression. “I would never regret sleeping with you, Shay. Not when I …”
She quieted, her eyes wide like she’d been about to say something she hadn’t intended. Several beats of silence passed.
“Not when you what?” I typed, but she didn’t continue.
Instead, she shook her head. “Never mind. I’m sorry for coming here and throwing myself at you. This is so embarrassing, not to mention inappropriate. Your father could’ve been home.”
“You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me, Maggie,” I typed, wanting to ask her again what she’d been about to say, but then she said, “My mam wants my siblings to visit her.”
Her mam? I suddenly realised, though Maggie had said her mother was still alive, she’d never told me where she was exactly, nor why she no longer had custody of her young children.
“Their foster parents don’t want to bring them to her, so they asked me, and I really don’t want to do it. I haven’t seen her since before she was sent down, but then Vivi asked if I’d take her because she misses Mam, and I just couldn’t say no to her.”
“Sent down?” I typed, trying to cover my surprise. Maggie’s mother was in prison?
Her throat moved as she swallowed, then nodded. “She’s been in the women’s section at Mountjoy for eight years. She … she and her partner, Darren, committed a spate of burglaries to fund their drinking and drugs habit. One night, they were being chased by the Gards after breaking into a house and stealing a bunch of cash and Christmas presents.” She paused, running a hand over her face like it was difficult to recount the story. She cleared her throat, and I could tell it took effort to speak steadily. Her tone turned factual, like she was trying hard to keep her emotions at bay.
“You probably know some people intentionally drive the wrong way down the motorway when being chased. Often, the Gardaí won’t keep following because it’s so dangerous and could cause a serious collision. They’d stopped following Mam and Darren, but it was already too late. They crashed into an oncoming truck, and two cars behind got caught up in the collision. The truck driver was okay, but a mother and daughter in the second vehicle were killed, and three others suffered horrendous injuries. Darren died on impact, too, but Mam managed to emerge with only minor injuries.”