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“Sorry,” I said, shaking my head at myself. “I should look at you when I ask a question. Rookie mistake.” Pausing, I blew out a breath and willed my pulse to calm down. “So, a small drop of milk?”
Again, he nodded, and I smiled. It seemed the more time we spent with one another, the better we were getting at communicating effectively.
I carried the two cups over to the sofa, placing them on the coffee table before taking a seat. Daniel tried to sniff at the cups, but Shay made a soft clicking noise, and the dog settled back down. “He’s a gorgeous dog,” I said as Shay came to sit next to me. The couch was small, which meant our thighs brushed as we sat side by side. “How long have you had him?”
Shay held up eight fingers before lifting his tea for a sip.
“Eight years. That’s a long time. Have you had him since he was a puppy?”
Shay nodded, then pulled out his phone. My pulse quickened when I saw him writing me a message, but I wasn’t as self-conscious or ashamed of my slow reading around him anymore. Shay was always patient as he waited for me to read whatever he’d written.
I took his phone, our fingers touching, causing a zing of awareness to zip through me. I concentrated on what he’d typed.
Dad got him after Mam passed away. We were both still grieving, and he thought a dog would provide some comfort.
When I finished reading, I handed him back the phone. “That was a good idea. They say dogs are nature’s anti-depressant, right?”
Shay nodded, smiled, then gave Daniel’s head a ruffle. The dog looked up at him, eyes shining with love. Something about seeing it made my chest hurt. I wanted someone, animal or human, to look at me that way. Even once.
“I work for this couple,” I continued, needing to distract myself from the hole of yearning inside me. “They have a dog called Noddy. He’s a Labradoodle and so cute and friendly. I swear he has the best life. If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a rich person’s dog. They get to live in the lap of luxury and never have to work a day in their lives.”
Shay’s eyes crinkled with humour.
“Your dad is a delight by the way. You’re lucky to have a father like him.”
His soft expression said he agreed with me on that. A small silence fell, and I was so hyperaware of his closeness I found myself jumping up. “Oh, you probably want some biscuits for your tea. I’ll go grab some.”
I hurried to the cupboard and pulled out a packet of chocolate digestives before returning to Shay. I offered him one, and he accepted it with a smile. We sat in companionable silence before I heard his phone vibrate. He pulled it out, frowned at the screen, then returned it to his pocket without responding.
“Nigel?” I asked tentatively, and he nodded, looking irritated.
Guilt nipped at me. “I … I probably should’ve kept my encounter with him to myself.”
Shay vehemently shook his head, signalling his disagreement.
“Well,” I went on. “I hope you two can sort things out. I’m sure he’s not all bad, and I know firsthand how alcohol can affect people.”
Shay shot me a questioning look, and I blew out a breath, finding myself opening up. I’d made the decision to let Shay get close, or at least closer than I’d let others get, and that meant telling him things about myself.
“My mother and her boyfriend, Darren, would drink heavily and do drugs together. I only lived with them for a few months after they got together. Then Mam became pregnant with my little sister, Vivi, and Darren decided I should move out and start making my own way in the world. He didn’t like thinking of Mam having a romantic past before him, which was crazy because she’d had a string of boyfriends before he came along. I never knew my father. He wasn’t in my life, but I suppose my presence was a reminder to Darren that Mam had been with other men.” I paused, taking a breath and seeing Shay’s eyes were levelled on me as he listened intently. He typed something on his phone and handed it to me.
I thought your parents were dead?
I shook my head. “No, I … I’m sorry I let you and your dad assume that. I just didn’t want to talk about it. My family history doesn’t exactly make for pleasant conversation.”
Shay nodded, understanding in his eyes as he motioned for me to go on. I cleared my throat.
“Well, anyway, I was only sixteen at the time, but I was probably better off without them. Mam and Darren together were like a whirlwind of destruction, wrecking everything in their path. The only good thing that came from their relationship was my four half-siblings, Vivi, Robbie, Shelly and Eamonn. They live with their foster parents now, but I go to visit them most weekends.” I started to feel self-conscious and stopped speaking to drink some tea.
