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Our friendship could rot in hell for all I cared.
I nodded, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers softly. I ran my nose across her cheek, my heart hurting to leave her. But it was my penance, my punishment for being a reactive arsehole who jumped to conclusions.
It felt chillier outside when I left. Maybe the world was a colder place when I hurt someone as lovely and gentle as Maggie. I’d suspected her, questioned her loyalty when she hadn’t given me a single reason to distrust her. She’d laid herself bare to me, told me all about her mother and her childhood, and I’d thrown that vulnerability she’d shared right back in her face. I was furious with myself the entire walk home. When I reached my house, I slammed the door and went upstairs to take a scalding, punishing shower.
Later, when Ross, Dawn and the kids arrived, I was in such a bad mood I didn’t want to go downstairs, but I knew I should show my face. It was only as I was coming down the stairs that someone knocked on the door, and if the shape outside the glass was anything to go by, I knew exactly who it was.
Seconds later, I threw the door open, grabbed Nigel by his shirt collar and slammed him up against the wall. He still looked like crap, and I could smell alcohol on his breath and in his clothes. Had he woken up and come straight there?
“Shay, please, just hear me out. I didn’t mean to spill all that today.”
Letting go of him, I stepped away and signed, So, you were just never going to tell me you were the one Emer cheated with?
Pain flashed in his eyes, and he looked miserable as he raked a hand through his hair. “You figured it out,” he breathed.
Not right away. At first, I thought you were talking about Maggie, and you’re fucking lucky you weren’t because if you’d laid a hand on her, I’d bloody murder you. So, I went to her, might as well have accused her of cheating. I hurt the woman I love because you decided to get drunk and half spill a secret without explaining who exactly you were talking about.
“I’m sorry, Shay. I never wanted to mess anything up between you and Maggie, but this thing with Emer has been eating me alive. I’ve been in love with her for so long, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me, said the night we had was a one off and there would be no repeats.”
What did you think was going to happen? That you two would fuck behind my back, she’d break up with me and you’d both skip off into the sunset all the while we remain friends? Are you out of your mind?
“No,” Nigel replied, his voice full of dejection. “I always knew I was going to lose you, but I loved her so much I was willing to take the risk. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, Shay, and it was agony being around you and Emer. Now, I’ve lost both of you.”
Listening to him speak, the hopelessness in his voice almost made me feel sorry for him. If I’d found out he was the one Emer cheated with a year ago, I might’ve been angrier. Now, I was mainly angry because of the confusion he’d caused with Maggie. Last night, she’d told me she loved me, but because of Nigel and my own impulsive idiocy, I’d cast a shadow over all of that.
Why have you come here? I signed, losing some of my steam. Seeing the pathetic state of him, I felt only pity.
“I thought that now because everything’s out in the open, we could talk it all through. Save our friendship,” he answered.
We can’t. It’s already lost.
Some might accuse me of being cold-hearted and callous ending the friendship, but I couldn’t get past the fact that if Emer had been prepared to be with Nigel instead of telling him it was a once off, Nigel was happy to throw away our friendship for her. The only reason he was now begging for forgiveness was because Emer didn’t want him.
Nigel’s expression tightened, and he tugged at his rumpled shirt collar in frustration like I was being unreasonable. It was also clear there was still alcohol in his system because his words were slurred and emotional.
“Aw, man, don’t say that. You’re not with Emer anymore, and she doesn’t want me. She can be out of both of our lives, and we can go back to how things were. Plus, you have Maggie now, so—”
Don’t talk about her. I ground my teeth.
Nigel raised his hands. “No, you’re right. I won’t. Look, I know you hate me right now, but maybe after you’ve had time to cool off, we can talk about where this leaves us.”
