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“Please, come sit beside me,” I typed, but she lifted her chin, instead going to perch on one of the chairs at her small dining table. She folded her arms, and frost seared my heart. I’d fucked up, and now, I had some serious grovelling to do.
“It was Emer,” I continued typing. “I think Nigel is the one Emer cheated on me with. That’s why he’s been drinking so heavily. The guilt has been eating at him.”
“Oh my God, that’s … If it’s true, it’s awful. You two have been friends since you were kids. I can’t believe he’d throw away a friendship like that.”
“I don’t think he ever planned on telling me. He was going to keep it a secret forever. The only reason he spilled his guts today is because he was drunker than I’ve ever seen him.”
“The secret clearly became too much. I almost feel sorry for him.”
“Don’t. He doesn’t deserve any sympathy.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to wait until the prick sobers up, and then I’m going to tell him he’s lost a friend.” Maggie blinked, then nodded, her gaze lowering to the floor just as my phone buzzed with a text.
Dad: Just put the roast in the oven. Will you be home for dinner?
Crap, with the drama of the morning I’d completely forgotten about Sunday dinner. I’d messaged Dad last night to let him know I was staying in Maggie’s, so he knew where I was. I typed a quick response.
Me: Yes, I’ll be there.
Returning my attention to Maggie, I saw she still sat on the chair, her expression a million miles away. What was she thinking? Had I fucked things up? It was such a mess, and it was all Nigel’s fault. Well, no, it was my fault, too, for not thinking properly and jumping to conclusions imagining Maggie was the one Nigel was rambling about.
I stood from the couch, then went to kneel in front of her. I tried to hold her hands, but she pulled them away. My heart plummeted to the floor. She was hurting. I could see it in the cast of her eyes. I caught her cheek in my hand. My expression held a thousand apologies. She sniffed, her voice small when she said, “I can’t believe you thought it was me, that I’d keep secrets from you. That’s not me, I’m not …”
My hand fell away from her face as I picked up my phone. “I know that’s not you,” I typed. “I’m a fucking idiot. My thoughts just went instantly to you because he said we were in love with the same woman. I didn’t stop for a second to realise he meant past tense.”
“You scared me, Shay.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you? I’ll do anything.”
Maggie pressed her lips together, her blue eyes sad. “I don’t know.”
“Will you come to dinner?”
I watched her throat move as she swallowed, her eyes flickering around the flat, settling anywhere but on me. “No, I um, I have some things to take care of around here.”
“What about Christmas day, then? Will you come to Ross and Dawn’s with me? And don’t say you’re spending the day with Siobhan because she already mentioned she’s going to visit her grandkids.”
“Sure, I’ll think about it,” she replied, her voice detached, and my gut sank. I really had screwed up. Self-recrimination threatened to drown me.
“Maggie, please don’t shut me out.”
“I’m not, I promise. It’s just … you hurt me, Shay. I know you were angry and acting on instinct, but you should’ve known Nigel couldn’t possibly have been talking about me. It’s not my character to ever keep anything from you. And I certainly would never cheat.”
“I know that,” I typed. “I wasn’t thinking.”
Dropping my phone to the floor, I pulled her face to mine, crashing my lips to hers. I kissed her desperately, needing forgiveness, but it was immediately clear that wasn’t going to come easily. She kissed me back, but there was a sadness to it. A hesitance. I’d wounded her, and I hated myself for it. I needed to make things right.
Drawing away, I searched her eyes.
“I’m not angry with you, Shay. I just need a little time,” she said in a quiet, gentle voice.
I nodded, understanding. When I was hurt, I tended to withdraw into myself, too. I didn’t want to give her time, and I certainly didn’t want to give her space. I selfishly wanted her forgiveness immediately, but I knew it didn’t work that way. I’d made a mistake, and I needed to pay for it.
I’ll go, I signed, motioning to the door as I stood. Maggie stood, too, gripping my arm. I turned, casting my gaze down at her.
“I still love you,” she said, searching my eyes. “I’m just bruised. And I think you need to go and have a long talk with Nigel when he sobers up. Figure out where this leaves your friendship.”
