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“My mom didn’t have a bar,” she mutters. “She was a dancer. I grew up in a crappy cinder block building in East Brooklyn, and I don’t know a single person other than Dalton who even graduated high school, let alone went to college. If my music hadn’t taken off, I’d probably be dancing… or in jail.” She looks up at me. “If everyone wakes up tomorrow and forgets about me, then that could still be my future.”
“And it’d be doubly painful because you had a chance to escape it,” I finish for her. “I know the feeling.”
“I try to keep a hand on my roots, hang out in my old neighborhood. That club we met at? That’s where my mom used to work. I tell people it’s to inspire other kids, but the truth is that I’m just trying not to make the fall hurt as much.”
I’d done the opposite. I’d moved as far as I could. Or had I? I never was able to leave New York. I told myself it was because of my business but with a billion dollars, I could work in development anywhere in the world if I wanted to. Did I subconsciously want to stick by my old neighborhood so that it could catch me if — when — I fell?
“This trip to Europe has been amazing. I never thought I could have a life like this. But now Dax…” She shakes her head. “I thought I was done with dirtbags. Apparently not. And if Dax can throw me aside so easily, why can’t my fans? It seems like it all could end just as it’s beginning.”
“That’s just nerves talking,” I say. “It’s not ending. You’re just going to keep getting bigger.”
Kara looks up at me with big, tear-filled eyes and asks, “But what if I don’t deserve any of it?”
I hesitate but then put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You do deserve it,” I say. “No more and no less than anyone else who’s made it big. But maybe instead of dating guys like Dax, you should be dating someone who’d love you whether you have money or not.”
Kara cocks her head and looks at me suspiciously. “Are you talking about you?”
I jump away from her like I’ve been electrocuted. “Oh— Uh— Look— That’s?—”
I scowl when she bursts out in laughter.
“Oh man, I had you going there,” she says, wiping an eye.
“Just to be clear—” I say, a little annoyed and still awkward.
“No need to say anything,” she says. “I know you’re head over heels for Evie. That’s clear to everyone.”
I smile in spite of myself. “Is it that obvious?”
“Very blatant,” she says. “But then I knew from the first time I set eyes on you two.”
“And what do you think she feels for me?” I ask before I can stop myself.
Kara cocks an eyebrow. “Is that a real question?” When I pause, she adds, “And I bared my soul so the least you can do is pay back the favor.”
She’s not wrong. But then I’ve always struggled with voicing my inner turmoil. A side effect of a childhood in which anything short of breaking a major bone was considered whining. “Mental health” to my dad meant not having brain cancer.
“It’s been… confusing,” I finally land on.
“Confusing?”
“I’ve never been this kind of guy,” I say. “I’ve never cared before what anyone thought of me. It’s unnerving.”
“But are you happy?”
“Yes,” I say. “Absolutely.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
What is the problem? Why exactly can’t I tell Evie that I want us to be serious when we get back to New York?
“I’m the problem,” I say. “I don’t… I’m not…” I throw up my hands. “What if she wants to have kids?”
Kara shrugs. “I guess you put your penis in her vagina and?—”
“No, no,” I say, waving her off. “I mean raising kids. God, I’ve already completely failed with my brother. I’d never be able to. And Evie’s too sweet to never be a mother. But I’d fuck it all up. And besides, there’s my company.”
Kara snorts. “I hope you haven’t said that to Evie.”
