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“That’s really cool. You’ve come a long way since you began. I remember those alligator tears from your first lesson.” He chuckles as he turns down the dirt road I travel every week.
“Ha, Ha. Very funny. That horse was huge in my defense and I had never done it before. I was scared I would fall to my death or something.” I pull my black velvet helmet up to my lap.
“Seriously though, I’m impressed you kept up with it this long. I figured you would bail like the piano, guitar and singing lessons.” My eyes shoot over in his direction allowing me to see the smirk on his face.
“Okay, one, I can’t believe you remember all those. Two, I’m pretty sure old Mrs. Fenderson purposely gave me the sheet music meant for advanced students. Three, no amount of lessons can make my singing better. Come to find out, there isn’t a musical bone in my body. That’s why my concerts are alone in the shower.” As the words slip from my lips, I instantly want to reel them back in. Facepalm. How embarrassing to spill that tidbit.
Sam’s laughter roars through the car as he cuts the engine looking over at me.
“Is that what that screeching is that I hear sometimes? I thought there was a dying cat outside. I even went looking for it once.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me as I roll my eyes but I can’t help laughing along with him. I really do suck at singing.
“I’ve got to get to my lessons, smarty pants.” I begin opening my door but Sam puts his hand on my arm to stop me.
“Be careful out there today.” The sincerity in his eyes makes my belly do a flip. I can’t help but notice the spark of electricity where he grabbed my arm.
“I will be. Plus I have this.” I knocked hard on the black velvet helmet in my lap. He nods, though still looking unconvinced. “Come out and watch and I’ll prove to you that I know what I’m doing.”
“Did you think I was going to sit in here the whole time and let you out of my sight?” His words give me chills but then he ruffles my hair like Matty does and the moment is lost.
“Besides, your mom would kill me if I let anything happen to you, princess.” The butterflies in my stomach have now been devoured by dinosaurs. A sigh escapes my lips and I nod turning to get out of the car. Will he ever see me the way I see him? Maybe…I don’t know…maybe I should start looking at boys my own age. The thought feels like a punch to the gut but I smile up to him before I sprint off to pull Rocky from his stall.
“At least I have you, right boy?” I scratch his chestnut muzzle as he nods his head to me as if he understands my problems. Throwing on his halter, I lead him from the stall as the moments from the car wash away into the here and now. I can’t think about the love of my life when all I’ll ever be is ‘Matt’s baby sister’.
Sebastian said Sam is going to be at the party so I need to be ready. Pushing my plate aside, I decide to take a break from work for the rest of the day and indulge in some retail therapy. I need to look jaw droppingly gorgeous tomorrow and I can’t do that with anything I already own. I’m all grown up now. This once ugly duckling transformed into a swan and it is time that he sees me, really sees me.
Chapter 4
Samuel
It’s Saturday afternoon, as I effortlessly navigate the gym, my thoughts are elsewhere. They're with Marcy and the daunting reality that I'll be seeing her tonight. I was tempted to cancel on Miles and Sebastian, but I knew my deceit would be transparent. The raw truth is, I'm unnerved at the thought of being near her again. The reason for my fear is unclear, whether it's guilt for somewhat breaking my promise to her brother or the undeniable pull of attraction I have towards her. Whatever it is, I need to get my ass in gear.
As the rhythm from my headphones shifts to a calmer tempo, I know it's time to begin the wind down. My body is protesting, having been driven beyond its limits in this workout, yet it kept moving, as if on autopilot, while my mind wandered elsewhere.
Switching off the machine, I reach for my towel, dabbing away the sweat from my face and neck. A wave of fatigue washes over me, providing the exact relief I was seeking. The weight of responsibilities, worries, and expectations—dissolving. I toss the towel in the bin and head to the shower. I step in, a torrent of comforting hot water washes over my aching body. I stand for a moment basking in the feel of the water sliding over me. Scrubbing my hands down my face, I wash up and get out.
Draping a towel about my waist while I study the mirror's reflection over the bathroom counter, my eyes trace the countless faded scars and healed battle wounds. The scar above my eyebrow—the result of a daring leap. The one on my knuckles—the aftermath of a fight for justice. And the one normally hidden beneath my sleeve—the battle against inner demons. They’ve witnessed tears shed in solitude, laughter shared with friends, and the quiet determination that carried me through sleepless nights. The scars are a testament to the trials of years past, a silent narration of my transformation. I've evolved; I'm not the man I used to be. My transformation into the person I am today is deeply rooted in my experiences with the Army. The blend of enriching encounters and rigorous challenges has sculpted my character.
When I think back over my time in the military, it’s always clouded over by the death of Matthew. Running my hands through my hair, I head into my closet to get dressed. I don’t want to sit around and think about him, especially not when I have a party to get ready for. One that will bring me face to face with his sister.
The sound of my phone ringing from the bed grabs my attention, pausing my thoughts about tonight. Sebastian’s name appears on the screen and I know why he’s calling.
“Hey man,” I answer as I walk over to the bank of windows in my bedroom.
“Sam! I just wanted to make sure we will be seeing you tonight, man,” Sebastian booms over the phone.
“Heh, I figured you would be calling to check up on me.” I roll my eyes because he can’t see me.
“Well I hate to tell ya but you have a history of not showing up. Miles and I want you here with us,” he states, joking aside.
“Yeah I’ll be there. I was about to get dressed when you called.” I walk over to the wet bar in my room to pour a glass of whiskey. I need something to take the nerves away. I do better when I’m on my own in the comfort of my penthouse. Unless, I’m out following her. She makes me yearn for things that aren’t possible. Even with that knowledge, I can’t keep away from her. I need my daily dose of her. She’s like a drug and I’m an addict.
“Good, good. See you tonight.” Sebastian ends the call, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I place my phone on the bed, my fingers curling tightly around my drink. As I savor its warmth, I find my worries fading away. Whiskey has become one of my constant companions. I wish it wasn’t, but here we are. I head back to the closet to dress in something appropriate for a birthday party that I’m sure will be the talk of the town. The Knights, renowned for their extravagance, have been this way since our childhood. With a resigned sigh, I ruffle my still damp hair and select a pair of slacks, accompanied by a shirt and tie.
My mind wanders back to her. She’s a magnet and my brain can’t resist the pull. I question, not for the first time, if her brother implied more when he asked me to look after her, but that’s an answer I’ll never know. I drive myself mad thinking of what he really wanted from me. An overwhelming sense of regret washes over me. I know I shouldn’t have left her alone all these years. I helped her from afar but the guilt of not physically being there for her haunts me, especially since she doesn’t have any family left.
Before I returned to the states, I found out about the accident that took her parents’ lives. I was physically ill, knowing that she had been alone in the world all this time.
I hired a P.I. to track her down a few years before I got back to the states so that I could learn more about the woman she grew into. I didn’t plan on becoming obsessed with her every move. I admit that I tried to break the connection many times, but I felt compelled to look after her, like a crazy guardian angel. I even went so far as to threaten potential suitors of hers. No one could ever be good enough for her. I’d told her once that boys didn’t deserve her. She needs someone worthy of her. I smile at the memory from long ago.
